a better picture

here's a better picture of that chesire cat painting. and to answer alice's comment...YES! TWINKIES!! DELICIOUS CREAM FILLED TREATS FOR MYSTICAL CREATURES OF ALL AGES!! you can click on the image to make it bigger. man, the whole time while i was painting this thing, all i could hear were lasers being shot out of guns and a whole lot of screaming. GOOD GOD THE SCREAMING!!!

i also have night terrors.

new painting

OKAY! i have completed my painting for the show at Gallery 1988 in LA based on Disney's Chesire Cat. it's supposed to be a release party for their new custom vinyl toys of the cat. the toy looks pretty cool, they even have a glow in the dark chesire cat. or i could just be making that up. i'm not really sure. what the hell is a chesire cat anyway??

Anyway, here's the painting i did about the chesire cat. the photo is crap because there's horrible lighting and my floor is sticky. WHY IS MY FLOOR STICKY!?!? ALWAYS COVERED IN GOO IT IS!!! GRAAAWAAUGH!!! stupid floor goo. title: "MY SUPER INVISIBLE POWERS ARE BROKEN!!!"
medium: acrylic on canvas
size: 36" x 24"

i'll post a better picture of this when i get one. ok, well this entry is going to be really short because i have a whole lotta goo to clean up. so i'm ending this right now.

oh hello. i didn't notice you there.

bye

MINI-OLIGO!!

so i've determined when i've become addicted to energy drinks and caffeine in general. CONTINUE READING MY STORY!! i'm eating a bag of peanuts. hello.
When i was living in Taiwan at the age of 8 or 9 i would always stop in at the local Circle K convenient store on my way walking home from school. and there was this little green glass bottle that always caught my attention, "Mini-Oligo". it was such a pretty green bottle and so shiny compared to the rest of the bottles...yes. IT BLINDED ME WITH ITS EMERALD BEAUTY!!! i had to drink from its delicious looking lips OF DELICIOUSNESS!! NNNNRRRGH!!! I LICK IT!! YES! TASTY GLASS BOTTLE!!

IT WAS SO TASTY! MY MIND KABOOMED OUT OF CONTROL!!!! i drank one to two bottles a day for every day for the next 2 years. Oooooooh so much delicious DRINK!!! since i've discovered Mini-oligo...MIN-EEEEE OLI-GO-O-O-O-O!! that's how the comercial song went. lalala AND EVERY TIME I HEARD IT AN EXPLOSION OF JOY POOPED IN MY PANTS!! KA-SPLOOOOOOOSH!!! HAPPY POOP EVERYWHERE!! CLEANUP WAS A BLAST!! THESE WERE THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE!!! YEAAAAAAAUGH!!!

then you know what happened? BAD FORTUNE!!! my family moved from Taiwan back to the United States where NO SUCH TASTY DRINK EXISTED!!! FURIOUS I WAS!! such a drink only existed in the peoples republic of CHINA!!! stupid commercial distribution and manufacturing laws...I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THOSE THINGS MEAN!

for 13 long years i've been searching for my delicious beverage of childhood dreams. even when i returned back to Taiwan 3 years ago...nothing. HAD THIS DRINK BEEN A VICTIM OF GENOCIDE OR RAPE!? i don't know. i've been searching for my love for so long, it's no surprise i've been flirting and sleeping with other energy drinks to try and forget and replace a broken heart. MY BROKEN HEART!! SHATTERED!! LIKE FROZEN JELLO!! from Vitalon-P to Whoop-Ass...the only drink that has come close to being able to FILL MY VEINS WITH SUCH RADIOACTIVE POWERED GOO: REDBULL!!! and yes, it has delivered much pleasure to my mooshy skull pudding, and oh how i do love Redbull, but It will never be able to replace my Mini-Oligo. NEVER!!

but i do remember my first ever Redbull. it was just like yesterday. My brother had a stash in the basement refrigerator...except these ones were in the cool looking glass bottles, not the small tin cans you are all familiar with. but as soon as i cracked open that cap...the aroma of taurine filled my sinuses with such a beautiful sensations. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFOH!!! RRRRRRRRNGH!!! oh i wish i had some more redbull now. everything else i've had is stupid. STUPID!!! except for good ol' classic coffee. oh mighty delicious beverage. LIKE POWERFUL TUNA PUNCHING MACHINE!!! KA-POW POW!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!! TUNA DEAD!! EVERYWHERE!!!!!!


ok, well i need to get back to work. this is what i've been working on. it's a work in progress so don't laugh:

you won't be seeing too many more posts from me for a few days or weeks because i got this thing going on with this company i don't know if i'm allowed to talk about it because they keep making me sign these contracts. but i'll let you know after i get paid.

MY LIVING SPACE!!

i thought i'd show all of you where i live and work. why? WHY!?!

NO QUESTIONS!!

here is where i paint. LOOK!!

it's very messy, but eh. EH!!! i'm currently working on this piece for the upcoming show at Gallery 1988 in October...october 7th to be exact. it's not done yet obviously, but YOU'RE not even done. SO SHUT UP! here's the sketch for it. wanna see it? yeah you do. it's about the chesire cat. see, you can see him enjoying his tea party with the rabbit and then MARTIANS LAND IN WONDERLAND AND BEGIN SHOOTING UP THE PLACE! "SHHH-BEEEEUW!! POW POW POW!! KEEEEERSHPOOOOSH!!"

"OH NO! OUR TEA IS DESTROYED AND SLAVERY HAS BEEN WRITTEN INTO OUR DESTINIES RABBIT! I AM A CAT!! DO YOU LIKE KOOLADE?? YOUR MOM SMELLS DELICIOUS!! WE ARE DIE!! WAAAAAAAAGH!!"

that's what the painting is about.

and here are my tools for the painting. i am organized, yes? thanks.

now here's where i do all my digital work, blogging, emailing, game playing, and time wasting. TIME WASTING!!! hello. i have two computers, my old one just became way too old and destroyed itself, so i replaced it with an alienware and i got my dual monitors hooked up and use the old one as backup.

Now, i'm not strictly a PC guy or strictly a MAC guy. in fact, people who waste the effort explaining how one is better than the other are tooljobs. so i'm just going to say this, they're both good for what they are. and they can each do what the other can equally well, depending on what you want to do, you just need to know how to buy whatever fits your lifestyle. i use both. macs at work and pc at home, i have encountered no problems or favor one over the other. SO SHUT UP!!

on the wall there i've hammered all the jobs i need to get done...currently i only have 5. oh and if you see on the far left bottom corner you can see my Dance Dance Pad. if you guys didn't already know, i used to be Dance Dance Champion of the world until i broke my...something, i don't remember what. whatever, it's all in my autobiography. go read it yourself.

here's my TV and i think they just found out i've been stealing cable a few minutes ago because while i was watching animal planet's most EXTREME!!...

SCRAMBLED!!!

man, and speaking of animal planet, i'm super bummed about Steve Irwin. that just sucks man. that guy was one of my heros.
damnit.
but anyways...so now finally, here's where i do all my packing and shipping to send paintings and merchandise out. except my pet puffer fish Rocco took over the space. so it's more of an aquarium station rather than a packing station. oh well. you can see all of his "baby" supplies under his tank.

on the wall, are paintings by Chris Reno and Nate Marcy. the one on the right is Chris Reno, and the other is Nate Marcy. two of my most favorite paintings that i own. too bad my apartment doesn't do them justice. one day when i move into a better place...

well! that's my place, want to see more you say? NO MORE!!

THEY SEND ME FIFTY DOLLAR BILL!?

HOh MAN! so i got this email from a Mr. Fred Obi & Management...
AND MANAGEMENT!! and you guys might be looking at a future millionaire. no! A MULTI VITAMINS!!

READ THE EMAIL!!!!

From: Mr. Fred Obi & Management
Date: Friday, September 1st, 2006 10:38 AM
to: ME!!
Subject: Urgent Response Please!

ARTS & CRAFT COMPANY PLC.
DL0311 VAUXHALL CROSS E7 8JG-LONDON
UNITED KINGDOM.
E-MAIL: fredobi_craftcompany@gawab.com

Attn: Sir/Ma.

With due respect to you, I am sorry for any inconveniences or embarrassement this my letter of assistance may cause you. I am Mr.Fred Obi, the managing director of the above mentioned company. Base on the assurance given on your behalf, my company has appoint you as our debt collector from our overseas creditors. The creditors always send us CHEQUES for our payment, but foreign cheque take LONGER time to clear and sometimes some of them got lost on transit, which impact a great lost to this Company. It is on this effect, we the management outstand a dept collector overseas. You haven been selected on these contract, the management has agreed that any debt YOU collected on our behalf, 5% is allowed for you as your share while the remaining will be remitted to us through wire transfer on our coparate account.

To commence on this transaction, you are to send the following in your reply:
1. Name you want the cheque to be raised.
2. Direct telephone and fax numbers
3. Mailing address
4. Your company name if any.
5. Sex/ Age and Occupation.

NOTE: Your duty is ONLY to collect CHEQUES on our behalf from our creditors overseas and have 5% of the total fund paid to you. If you are interested, please reply through my secure email address: fredobi_craftcompany@gawab.com

Awaiting your positive reply.

Yours sincerely,
Mr. Fred Obi.


CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT!! I GOT CHOSEN!! I AM SO GOING TO BUY MYSELF A DOG!!

From: The Chung
Date: Saturday, September 2, 2006 7:49 PM
To: fredobi_craftcompany@gawab.com
Subject: Re: Urgent Response Please!

HI OBIWAN KENOBI!!

OH MAN!! what an honor! i've been waiting so long to get an email from someone i can actually REPLY to! instead of all those JUNK EMAILS that say DO NOT REPLY on them! sheesh!! who am i supposed to write to if i can't reply to them!? UNGH!?! i hate darth vadar don't you?

SO WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THIS THING!?!do you guys get medical? the reason why i ask is because i think one of my friends' sister gave me something and i can't pay to get it checked out. i mean it's not really an STD because it wasn't real sex, it was only in the butt...so it's cool. DUDE IT WAS SO COOL!! anyway, if you do, can you send me some information? are you hiring? oh man, did you feel a disturbance in the force yesterday? i did. yeah, i've been practicing to become a jedi. JUST LIKE YOU!

so are you forreal from Tatooine?? i had a friend from Tatooine who used to brag about it all the time. is it really like what he says? i hear they have waterfalls that flow with skittles. do you like skittles? i used to eat them when i was a kid but then i got one stuck in my sinuses because i would always get excited to eat them and accidentally inhale them through my nose. my mom says i shouldn't eat so much candy and drink as much soda because of the caffeine, but i like it. it makes my wee-wee tingle. you know what i mean? HAHAHAHAHAHHEHEHEHE GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE!! oh yeah, LOL forreal! have you ever tried to use emoticons outside of the internet? like when you're talking to your friends and you're like..."yeah you're a jerk, J/K! COLON HYPHEN RIGHT PARENTHESIS!! L-O-L!! B-R-B I HAVE TO PEE"

do you have any pets or children? i had this dog once but he got hit by another dog on the road. i threw it at him. it was sad. i cried for 40 days straight. but that was how i discovered Dr. Pepper. he wasn't a real doctor though like his title suggested. but he did win a noble prize fighting rooster. i think they have a pizza named the "noble prize fighting rooster". you ever have it? i like pizza. do you? OMG!! SPEAKING OF PIZZA!! THIS ONE TIME I HAD A NOBLE PRIZE FIGHTING ROOSTER PIZZA AND I FORGOT TO TAKE MY LACTOSE INTOLERANT PILLS AND WITHIN MINUTES POOP DETONATED INSIDE MY LATEX PANTS AND DESTROYED THE ENTIRE PIZZERIA!! i guess you could call it PIZZERIA DIARRHEA!! HAHAHAHA GIGGLE GIGGLE HEE HEE LAUGHING!! i love my latex pants. do you love yours?

so did i get the job? can you fly me out and pay for my living expenses if i come work for you guys and your company? i hope i get the job. but if not that's ok, i still like you. WE CAN BE PEN PALS!! OH! LETS DO!! hope to hear from you soon...penpal!! :) :) :)

your PEN15PAL (did you get it? i used numbers to represent letters in the alphabet! HAHAHA i'm so brilliant! you can learn something from me you know!? oh yeah and if you didn't get it the "15" was used as "IS" so when i write "Pen" plus "15" it looks like i just wrote "PENIS"! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG LOL DR PEPPER!!!

write back to me soon!! give Yoda a jello cup for me! no it's cool, he'll understand what it means.

-DAVID ULTRAMAN!!

p.s. i don't have a phone or a fax number because i still live with my mom, but my sex is a guy and i live with my mom. but don't mail anything to our house because my mom doesn't allow me to read letters from people, so you can send all your checks to my treehouse's address:

300 Super Cool Drive
Awesomeland, HI 07734

just call me professor THE CHUNG!!

hahaha, so check this out, this is gonna make you guys pee your pants...
guess who's teaching kids art now? ENGH!? ME!! oh man, those poor kids. it's at this private art akadamie for kids who want to get into art school.
i taught my very first class yesterday, didn't expect to, i thought i was just going in to discuss my schedule and explain the syllabus i was setting up, but then my boss told me to take over, "these are your kids." I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I HAD KIDS!? i'm such a whore. anyways, yeah, so i'm teaching now. at here: www.TroyArtAkademie.com and those kids are really talented. they're great, very willing to allow me to punch them in the back of the head and scream how AWESOME THEY ARE but to do better or else i'll eat their parents. naw i'm just kidding. i passed a note, we're not allowed to scream in class.
ok but enough about my teaching job, if i say anymore i'll probably get fired. FIRED!! KABOOOOOOSH!!! FLAMES EVERYWHERE!!

ok, i'm done blogging right now...DONE! i'll be back later.