Saturday, September 16, 2006


so i've determined when i've become addicted to energy drinks and caffeine in general. CONTINUE READING MY STORY!! i'm eating a bag of peanuts. hello.
When i was living in Taiwan at the age of 8 or 9 i would always stop in at the local Circle K convenient store on my way walking home from school. and there was this little green glass bottle that always caught my attention, "Mini-Oligo". it was such a pretty green bottle and so shiny compared to the rest of the bottles...yes. IT BLINDED ME WITH ITS EMERALD BEAUTY!!! i had to drink from its delicious looking lips OF DELICIOUSNESS!! NNNNRRRGH!!! I LICK IT!! YES! TASTY GLASS BOTTLE!!

IT WAS SO TASTY! MY MIND KABOOMED OUT OF CONTROL!!!! i drank one to two bottles a day for every day for the next 2 years. Oooooooh so much delicious DRINK!!! since i've discovered Mini-oligo...MIN-EEEEE OLI-GO-O-O-O-O!! that's how the comercial song went. lalala AND EVERY TIME I HEARD IT AN EXPLOSION OF JOY POOPED IN MY PANTS!! KA-SPLOOOOOOOSH!!! HAPPY POOP EVERYWHERE!! CLEANUP WAS A BLAST!! THESE WERE THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE!!! YEAAAAAAAUGH!!!

then you know what happened? BAD FORTUNE!!! my family moved from Taiwan back to the United States where NO SUCH TASTY DRINK EXISTED!!! FURIOUS I WAS!! such a drink only existed in the peoples republic of CHINA!!! stupid commercial distribution and manufacturing laws...I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THOSE THINGS MEAN!

for 13 long years i've been searching for my delicious beverage of childhood dreams. even when i returned back to Taiwan 3 years ago...nothing. HAD THIS DRINK BEEN A VICTIM OF GENOCIDE OR RAPE!? i don't know. i've been searching for my love for so long, it's no surprise i've been flirting and sleeping with other energy drinks to try and forget and replace a broken heart. MY BROKEN HEART!! SHATTERED!! LIKE FROZEN JELLO!! from Vitalon-P to Whoop-Ass...the only drink that has come close to being able to FILL MY VEINS WITH SUCH RADIOACTIVE POWERED GOO: REDBULL!!! and yes, it has delivered much pleasure to my mooshy skull pudding, and oh how i do love Redbull, but It will never be able to replace my Mini-Oligo. NEVER!!

but i do remember my first ever Redbull. it was just like yesterday. My brother had a stash in the basement refrigerator...except these ones were in the cool looking glass bottles, not the small tin cans you are all familiar with. but as soon as i cracked open that cap...the aroma of taurine filled my sinuses with such a beautiful sensations. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFOH!!! RRRRRRRRNGH!!! oh i wish i had some more redbull now. everything else i've had is stupid. STUPID!!! except for good ol' classic coffee. oh mighty delicious beverage. LIKE POWERFUL TUNA PUNCHING MACHINE!!! KA-POW POW!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!! TUNA DEAD!! EVERYWHERE!!!!!!

ok, well i need to get back to work. this is what i've been working on. it's a work in progress so don't laugh:

you won't be seeing too many more posts from me for a few days or weeks because i got this thing going on with this company i don't know if i'm allowed to talk about it because they keep making me sign these contracts. but i'll let you know after i get paid.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You so very special.

12:19 PM  
Blogger Mr.Letterman said...

So it was that drink............. . The best blog I´ve ever read and it´s because of a drink... .

9:42 AM  
Blogger Alice Stribling said...

Dude, you were NOT kidding about the redbull. Jeez, that shit can't be good for you. :)

1:38 AM  
Blogger bazooka radio said...

Please don't essplode Captain Chung!

8:54 AM  
Blogger 馨方 said...

OMG!!! I thought I was the only one who loves "MINI-OLIGO" at my childhood...until one day my dad found out I was high in energy drinks for a while...Man, he was mad! I wonder if I can find " MINI-OLIGO" here in the US...It taste soooo much better than any other energy drinks~

10:24 PM  
Blogger Micah Sittig said...

From Shanghai, PRC.

12:37 PM  

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