Saturday, September 02, 2006

THEY SEND ME FIFTY DOLLAR BILL!?

HOh MAN! so i got this email from a Mr. Fred Obi & Management...
AND MANAGEMENT!! and you guys might be looking at a future millionaire. no! A MULTI VITAMINS!!

READ THE EMAIL!!!!

From: Mr. Fred Obi & Management
Date: Friday, September 1st, 2006 10:38 AM
to: ME!!
Subject: Urgent Response Please!

ARTS & CRAFT COMPANY PLC.
DL0311 VAUXHALL CROSS E7 8JG-LONDON
UNITED KINGDOM.
E-MAIL: fredobi_craftcompany@gawab.com

Attn: Sir/Ma.

With due respect to you, I am sorry for any inconveniences or embarrassement this my letter of assistance may cause you. I am Mr.Fred Obi, the managing director of the above mentioned company. Base on the assurance given on your behalf, my company has appoint you as our debt collector from our overseas creditors. The creditors always send us CHEQUES for our payment, but foreign cheque take LONGER time to clear and sometimes some of them got lost on transit, which impact a great lost to this Company. It is on this effect, we the management outstand a dept collector overseas. You haven been selected on these contract, the management has agreed that any debt YOU collected on our behalf, 5% is allowed for you as your share while the remaining will be remitted to us through wire transfer on our coparate account.

To commence on this transaction, you are to send the following in your reply:
1. Name you want the cheque to be raised.
2. Direct telephone and fax numbers
3. Mailing address
4. Your company name if any.
5. Sex/ Age and Occupation.

NOTE: Your duty is ONLY to collect CHEQUES on our behalf from our creditors overseas and have 5% of the total fund paid to you. If you are interested, please reply through my secure email address: fredobi_craftcompany@gawab.com

Awaiting your positive reply.

Yours sincerely,
Mr. Fred Obi.


CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT!! I GOT CHOSEN!! I AM SO GOING TO BUY MYSELF A DOG!!

From: The Chung
Date: Saturday, September 2, 2006 7:49 PM
To: fredobi_craftcompany@gawab.com
Subject: Re: Urgent Response Please!

HI OBIWAN KENOBI!!

OH MAN!! what an honor! i've been waiting so long to get an email from someone i can actually REPLY to! instead of all those JUNK EMAILS that say DO NOT REPLY on them! sheesh!! who am i supposed to write to if i can't reply to them!? UNGH!?! i hate darth vadar don't you?

SO WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THIS THING!?!do you guys get medical? the reason why i ask is because i think one of my friends' sister gave me something and i can't pay to get it checked out. i mean it's not really an STD because it wasn't real sex, it was only in the butt...so it's cool. DUDE IT WAS SO COOL!! anyway, if you do, can you send me some information? are you hiring? oh man, did you feel a disturbance in the force yesterday? i did. yeah, i've been practicing to become a jedi. JUST LIKE YOU!

so are you forreal from Tatooine?? i had a friend from Tatooine who used to brag about it all the time. is it really like what he says? i hear they have waterfalls that flow with skittles. do you like skittles? i used to eat them when i was a kid but then i got one stuck in my sinuses because i would always get excited to eat them and accidentally inhale them through my nose. my mom says i shouldn't eat so much candy and drink as much soda because of the caffeine, but i like it. it makes my wee-wee tingle. you know what i mean? HAHAHAHAHAHHEHEHEHE GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE!! oh yeah, LOL forreal! have you ever tried to use emoticons outside of the internet? like when you're talking to your friends and you're like..."yeah you're a jerk, J/K! COLON HYPHEN RIGHT PARENTHESIS!! L-O-L!! B-R-B I HAVE TO PEE"

do you have any pets or children? i had this dog once but he got hit by another dog on the road. i threw it at him. it was sad. i cried for 40 days straight. but that was how i discovered Dr. Pepper. he wasn't a real doctor though like his title suggested. but he did win a noble prize fighting rooster. i think they have a pizza named the "noble prize fighting rooster". you ever have it? i like pizza. do you? OMG!! SPEAKING OF PIZZA!! THIS ONE TIME I HAD A NOBLE PRIZE FIGHTING ROOSTER PIZZA AND I FORGOT TO TAKE MY LACTOSE INTOLERANT PILLS AND WITHIN MINUTES POOP DETONATED INSIDE MY LATEX PANTS AND DESTROYED THE ENTIRE PIZZERIA!! i guess you could call it PIZZERIA DIARRHEA!! HAHAHAHA GIGGLE GIGGLE HEE HEE LAUGHING!! i love my latex pants. do you love yours?

so did i get the job? can you fly me out and pay for my living expenses if i come work for you guys and your company? i hope i get the job. but if not that's ok, i still like you. WE CAN BE PEN PALS!! OH! LETS DO!! hope to hear from you soon...penpal!! :) :) :)

your PEN15PAL (did you get it? i used numbers to represent letters in the alphabet! HAHAHA i'm so brilliant! you can learn something from me you know!? oh yeah and if you didn't get it the "15" was used as "IS" so when i write "Pen" plus "15" it looks like i just wrote "PENIS"! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG LOL DR PEPPER!!!

write back to me soon!! give Yoda a jello cup for me! no it's cool, he'll understand what it means.

-DAVID ULTRAMAN!!

p.s. i don't have a phone or a fax number because i still live with my mom, but my sex is a guy and i live with my mom. but don't mail anything to our house because my mom doesn't allow me to read letters from people, so you can send all your checks to my treehouse's address:

300 Super Cool Drive
Awesomeland, HI 07734

3 Comments:

Blogger Alice Stribling said...

hahaha, brilliant!! Please post their response if you get one!!!

Chung your caffeine addiction makes me laugh.

1:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, i'm going to marry you, sir.

10:54 PM  
Anonymous paypal me a dollar said...

this is funny

2:54 AM  

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