I WAKE UP TO SMELLY!!!

so i'm finally moved into my new apartment. and i mean finally...where all the boxes and crap have been moved from my old to my new. just finished last night. this feels good. as soon as i get this place all cleaned up i'll show you guys some TOTALLY AWESOME PICTURES!! i like to take pictures in naked though...and have someone take them for me. so if there are any volunteers out there...just email me. we have wild sex party, eh? EHNG!?!

ok so, yesterday morning Desiree and i woke up to this STINK knocked us both out of bed. honestly it wasn't that bad of a stink, but it was a stink that if you were in a chinese restuarant and all they were cooking were buckets of garlic, onions, and SHIT!! kind of a stink. i mean this stink shoved itself into your sinuses and then slapped the hell out of your brains while tugging on your genitals...it was something i didn't want to wake up to.
you know, it's one thing to wake up to loud noises because of the thin walls in your apartment...but it's another when you have to wake up to their smells. i guess i shouldn't complain though, at least i have a place.

I've been trying to work on this new piece which i was supposed to have done by tomorrow for Gallery 1988 for the next I-AM 8Bit show, but i havne't had a chance to really do anything for it because the past month i finally got put on full time at the Highway Press (www.thehighwaypress.com) which is a really damn awesome place to work at, we make some high ass quality shirts and art prints. Niagara, Glenn Barr, Emek, Tristan Eaton, and recently Shag have been getting their fine art prints done up there, just to name a very few list of artists. it's been really cool to be helping out printing Shag prints. we did some up for the Jonathan Levin gallery solo show he had just last month (i get to keep a copy of each print i help with :) ). it was totally awesome. OH NO I LOST MY ORIGINAL THOUGHT MEATS!! WHAT WAS I TRYING TO GET AT!?

well i forget, but anyways, my apartment smells like garbage yet again. so i'm going to go vomit into the vents and hopefully share my feelings with the neighbors beneath me.

I'M MOVED!!

GOOD HELLO! so i've finally moved out of Downtown Detroit, and moved into the suburbs...i guess if you want to call it the suburbs. my new place is twice the size of my old place and costs the same, and it's next to all these grocery shops, so i can finally eat my own cooking rather than dollar menu meals. everything about this place is great!! except for the neighbors. DAMNIT I HATE MY NEIGHBORS!! YOU CAN HEAR EVERY SOUND THAT GOES ON IN THE OTHER APARTMENTS, YOU CAN SMELL EVERY SMELL, YOU CAN TASTE EVERY TASTE!! WHY DO I ENJOY LICKING MY WALLS SO MUCH!?! I HAVE ONE NEIGHBOR WHO SEEMS TO WANT TO KILL ME. EVERYTIME I WALK OUT OF MY APARTMENT HE RUNS OUT OF HIS TO SEE WHO IT IS. HE EVEN PULLED A KNIFE ON ME ONE NIGHT, "JUST IN CASE YOU WAS SOMEONE ELSE. YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL BECAUSE I'M HANDICAPPED, THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS ANSWER MY DOOR WITH THIS HERE KNIFE." first of all this guy, Jeff, the first time i met him, he said that this neighborhood is ultra safe. "I MEAN LOOK!! I KEEP MY GODDAMN SHOES OUT IN THE HALLWAY AND NOBODY'S TOUCHED THEM!! you think i'd leave my fucking shoes out like this if this place weren't safe?!? H'NGH!? GAAAAUGH'URGLE...URGLE..."
first of all, your shoes consist of flip flops and a sock. WHO WOULD WANT TO TOUCH YOUR SHOES YOU CRAZY DICK!!
well, i guess i've been getting used to walking by his apartment, it's been sort of fun. i'd sneak and run by it as fast as i could to get upstairs without him coming out to investigate. kind of like avoiding zombies. i haven't seen him much lately though because i think i shattered his manhood the night he pulled a knife on me. First of all, i was already pissed from having worked 14 hours at two jobs that day and to come home to neighbors...i wasn't about to have it. but i didn't do anything crazy, all i said after he explained why he comes to the door with a knife...i just stared at him and said, "well, i'm sorry to have scared you, Jeff." then kept walking past him. to which he replies with, "NAAWGH MAN..YOU DIDN'T SCARE ME! I WAS JUST...PSSH, YOU DIDN'T SCARE ME. ..ok. bye dave"

haha...stupid jeff.

then i have this ultra-BITCH!! living right under me. One night Desiree and i came home after work around 10:30 and brought tacobell home. we simply pulled our chairs out from under the table and sat back down. it made a squeek or two. 20 seconds later there's a pounding on my door. we don't answer because we thought it might be Jeff wanting to see if he could come in and talk. then came another pounding, then another. finally i answer the door and it's this lady in her robe. "CAN YOU GUYS PLEASE LEARN TO BE MORE COURTEOUS!? ALL I HEAR IS CHAIRS DRAGGING BACK AND FORTH!!"

WHAT!?! THAT WAS LIKE FOR A FUCKING SECOND YOU UGLY BALLSACK!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!?! SHUT UP AND GO BACK DOWNSTAIRS AND SUCK SOME DICK!!

then there's this old lady who hates all smokers and seems to scream at everybody by putting up signs all over the place, like the one on her door, "OXYGEN IN USE..." and some other shit i dont much care to reiterate. plus she's a cat woman.

i smell cigars, weed, hippy, rice, and shit always seeping out into the hallways and into my apartment from the other apartments..

i think the only neighbor i have that i like is a guy who always waves to me from his bathroom window at 8:00 every morning when i'm starting my car to go to work. the only problem is he just stands there WAVING!! OK!! I FUCKING SEE YOU!! DAMNIT!!

well, the good thing about this place is, my car insurance finally went down by $1200.


i'll post pictures of my place up when i get the chance.


OH! but before i leave, if you can pick up the next issue of Applied Arts Magazine, i was commissioned to do the call for entries poster that comes with it. so go and pick up an issue when it comes out next month.