Thursday, March 15, 2007

ULTRA MADNESS!!!

so the other night me and Reno went to the Lager House in Detroit to see Slim Cessna's Auto Club...i think that's their name. i don't know, Reno knows. i don't listen to music. but anyways, well first of all, let me ask you people a question (those who've met or know me) do i look like the kind of person who's just so damn friendly you can just come up to me and start a conversation? or do i look like the kind of asshole who'd threaten to punch your kids face as soon as they popped out of their vaginal fortress of solitude? THE LATTER I HOPE!!! COMPLETE YOUR DECISION NOW!!! GWAAAAAAAAUGH!!!

anyways, while we were waiting for the band to play, Reno and I were standing up against a wall just being totally awesome when this short-shaved-headed-tatoos-and-piercings-everywhere looking guy walks up to me pats me on the shoulder and has a huge friendly smile on his face and says to me, "HEEEEEYYYY!!! HOW YOU DOING!?!?"

i have no idea who this creepy little man was, but he acted like he knew me. i say something like, "good thanks....all right, goodbye" then turn back to Reno to continue a conversation that he interupted. the guy just stands there for a minute and then walks away.

anways, the band starts and we all pack into this tiny ass little room with a stage, maximum capacity is like 30 people. We spot someone up at the front of the stage who looks like Mark Heggie. he's got an orange button up shirt on with a black tie, a mustache and a beard that looks like Satan who runs a carnival freakshow, long tied back hair, sun glasses, and a huge ass cigar in his mouth. basically looking like the bad ass dude that Mark Heggie is.
next thing we know some dude is moshing around up front and Heggie starts glaring at the guy like he wants to kill him. shortly after, Heggie basically does kill him. he shoves the guy from the front of the stage all the way to the back through everybody with one hand on the guys chest and one hand on his cigar then shouts at him to get the fuck out. starts to walk back to the front of the stage and then turns back to give the mosher a look that just screams, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU WITH MY BRAIN!!!!
the mosher runs out of the bar like he's about to cry. about 10 minutes later, he comes back ultra drunk and starts moshing at the back of the stage trying to get to the front. (first of all, i'm ALL for moshing. but when you're at a bar concert around a bunch of people who already can't move because the lights from the ceiling are stabbing them in the eyeballs...it's not a good time to be moshing). so this guy keeps jumping on me and Reno and a bunch of other people. Reno's pushing this idiot out of his way non stop but he keeps on moshing. then the short-shaved-headed-tatoos-and-piercings-everywhere looking guy starts moshing with the guy and knocking reno around indirectly, which lead Reno to push and shove back. Then all of a sudden short-shaved-headed-tatoos-and-piercings-everywhere looking guy grabs a hold of Reno's arms and starts shouting at him like, "C'mon stop fucking pushing me! you guys are no fun!" and they lock arms like their either about to fight or make out, so i wedge myself inbetween them and push short-shaved-headed-tatoos-and-piercings-everywhere looking guy away and yell, "DUDE! FUCKING STOP!!"
Then what does he do?! WHAT DOES HE DO!?!?! HE PATS ME ON THE FUCKING SHOULDER LIKE HE DID WHEN WE WERE UP AT THE BAR AND THEN GIVES ME THE BIGGEST FRIENDLIEST SMILE AND SAYS "HEEEEEYYYY!!! HOW YOU DOING???"
what do you say to that? i didn't know at the time either, so i say, "uh, good. thanks."
then he walks away and up to the bar and buys a beer.

anyways, i dont' get it. either i knew that guy or he knew me, or people just think i'm a complete joke. i dont know, i'm horrible with faces and names. i dont' even remember what half my relatives look like.

just like this one time, when my car broke down and i had to walk home from work when i used to live downtown and it was pouring rain out, this guy drives by with this girl and shouts out the window "THE FUCKING CHUNG!!! THE CHUNG ROCKS!! WOOOOOOOH!!!" i have no idea who this man was, but he stopped the car so i say , "HEY! what are you guys up to?" hoping he'd offer me a FUCKING RIDE!! but nope, he just replies with , "nothing, just driving around. ok see ya!" and drives off.
I MEAN C'MAAAAAAUGHN!!!! well, atleast the sewer vents kept me warm while walking home.

ok enough about my little life, here's the next show that i'm in coming up soon:



i won't be able to make it, but if you live out in the LA area, just go already damnit. i'll be arriving to LA in June.
here are some sketches you can look at that i'll probably turn into paintings soon too:


you can't see it in this sketch, but she's actually vomiting on her kid.
nothing more than a nipple twister

ok, i have to go get ready for a wedding now. so, i'm gonna go eat some cereal or something.

-THE CHUNG!!!

4 Comments:

Blogger CMR said...

Don't you remember that guy fro mthe gay bar? That's who that was, damn Chung, you're a player.

Is that Ultraman, throwing a nipple twister? Fucking Awesome. You should try to do a looking up POV for the giant monster ones, it would make them look hella bigger.


YOUT!

10:56 AM  
Blogger laura said...

hey, i know this is no discovery of a geniouses...but here

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/search/apa?query=&minAsk=800&maxAsk=1200&bedrooms=1&hasPic=1

i even put in some "affordable" price ranges in there for you

i am not sure how l.a. works compared to san francsico/bay area, but...800 - 1200 is cheap, so...yeah

i am tryin to help

fuck it

6:38 PM  
Blogger the chung said...

thanks chris! yeah, that's my version of ultraman! i'm even trying to make him even less ultraman-y so i don't get in trouble although i don't think i will.

and Laura, thanks a lot! yeah i know around $800-$1200 for LA area is AWESOME. i've been looking a lot at Long beach, encino, inglewood, etc areas...although i'd love to be in Culver. ah well. thanks for looking for me though!

7:03 PM  
Blogger Dee C.K. said...

hey! hahaa... you made my morning....funny story! I had this guy once at a club mosh his way over through the crowd only to stop in front of me and ask if I want to mosh with him. Sweet, but no thnx....hahaaa... and he continued on his moshing way.
The new sketches are awesome! the Ultraman-y twister is so great! I guess that's why you never see nips on robots..;)
cheers!

1:03 PM  

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