The Chung Fortune Cookie

NEW IPHONE ARTIST SKETCHBOOK AVAILABLE

2010-03-17T01:32:00.007-04:00

To all of you who own or know anybody who owns an iphone or and ipod touch, come and check out my just released artist sketchbook app downloadable via itunes and/or from this link:
http://artistsketchbooks.com/book.php?id=Book48

Released and brought to you by the amazing people at Imaginism Studios Inc. and ArtistSketchbooks.com this downloadable and portable book of select works and never before seen sketches can now be yours to hold in the palm of your hands. And don't forget to check out all the other amazing artist sketchbooks available to purchase through itunes as well.

Also check out these sketch theatre episodes that i did via sketchtheatre.com

new show opening

2009-07-09T03:47:00.003-04:00

"Monster?" show opening July 11th, 2009. This show is curated by one of the most amazing artist in the field today, Travis Louie, and I was lucky enough to have been invited to participate in this show which features some of today's top illustrators (see flyer below...it's effing awesome). I'll have two pieces in, so if any of you are in the area, I highly suggest that you show up! Not only is there going be amazing artwork for your eyeballs to gaze upon as they crust over, but the Kogi truck is going to be there too! (it's like the taco trucks you see everywhere in LA, but Korean BBQ!!!) and if that weren't enough, there's going to be a live band the "Hollywood Squartet" playing. that right there fulfills 3 out of the 5 senses of the human body! now add the stench of awesomeness and rubbin up on everybody at the opening, you've just unlocked achievements of smell and touch! you'll probably need to change your pants by the time you get home.

Here's a sneak preview of one of my pieces i'm putting in the show

And as always, for those of you who aren't able to make it to the opening, and are interested in purchasing pieces, don't hestitate to call up the gallery:
Copro Gallery
(310)829-2156
or visit them at their website: www.copronason.com
Hope to see most of you there!

Oh and one last thing, (i know i sent this out before, but here it is again) I have new prints available!! The amazing people at Dangerous Ink magazine were awesome enough to get prints of my work made. And these are some pretty damn amazing highly archival giclee prints. go visit them here: www.dangerousinkgallery.com
go visit them and buy a few. it'll make you happy. and if you want to make your mom happy, well you can buy her some prints too. she might finally start loving you again.

A test blog

2009-06-26T22:06:00.001-04:00

So just out of curiosity, I wanted to see if I'd be able to blog from my blackberry.

LA Myth show

2009-01-26T03:29:00.010-05:00

i just finished my piece for the LA Myth show. here it is, sneak peak-a-roo:

Title: Wolf-man inadvertently Crosses the Line (When He Peed on Unborn Babies)
Medium: acrylic on canvas
size: 20"x16"

First off, i just gotta say thanks to Dee for letting me be in this show. i seriously needed a break from all the specifically themed heavy shows i've been in lately. i was starting to seriously feel like i could give a shit about doing gallery shows anymore. but with this show, I really had a lot of fun just doing whatever the hell i wanted to do! i haven't done that in a real long time, and damnit I MISS DOING THAT!
Now this show is showcasing artists in the entertainment and animation industry, which for some reason i never thought i'd end up being, yet i'm really proud to say that i am. well, i can say that i'm proud NOW, but not from my previous place of employment. i mean, every time someone mentions that they've seen *that show, i can't help but apologize profusely for wasting two minutes of their lives (most people never make it past 2 minutes of watching before changing the channel, turning off the tv, unplugging it from the wall and then beating it to a pulp). damnit! and that fucking company still owes me $1300!

but i digress...come to this show on Feb 7th and party with me. my spine is finally slowly realigning back into place (no pun intended), and i should have enough booze and pain killers in my system to start break dancing!!

here's the who, what, when, and where

"LA MYTH 2009"

Opening night: February 7th, 2009
Time: 7pm to 11pm
The entire show runs:February 7th to 24th, 2009
www.lamyth.com
Gallery is located at:
Meltdown Comics/Gallery
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90046
(310)851-7223

back from detroit

2009-01-06T23:17:00.003-05:00

I'm back from a much needed vacation. Went back to detroit to visit Desiree and basically just relaxed into a puddle of putty. Desiree got me my very first xbox 360 and Fallout 3 for christmas, which led to me being glued to the TV playing video games all vacation with her while she fed me cookies and egg nog in bed...now i'm not saying that i deserved any of this sort of treatment, in fact, i'm pretty damn sure i deserved the exact opposite...which probably should have been a knee to the nuts and an uppercut in the face...but seeing how that's NOT what happened, i'm not going to complain. i can only imagine this is how Roman kings would have lived had there been xbox 360s, cookies and eggnog back in the day..or if there had ever been a grapes and wine shortage. kings i tell ya. DAMN HELL ASS KINGS!!!

anyways, now that i'm back and well rested, it's back to work. got a show this thursday at Gallery 1988 paying tribute to the Beastie Boys, who also will be attending. this is the piece i did for it:

I unfortunately don't think i'll be able to make it, despite the fact that i love the beastie boys and would love to meet them...i just don't think that my spine can handle the crowds. Man, i AM getting old. speaking of old...i can't forget to use my coupons for my next purchase of Metamucil and Glucosamine pills before they expire!

GET OFF MY DAMN PORCH YOU STUPID KIDS!!!

and speaking of yelling at kids and other various neighbors who suckass...

if you'd like to follow what the balls i do all day long, i just started a Twitter account apparently. my grandson help set it up for me. here's the link:

http://twitter.com/thechung

ok, well i'm out of here, i hope everybody had a great holiday and wishing everybody a better new year.

quickie

2008-11-16T15:43:00.005-05:00

EDIT:
here is the completed piece for Mark Murhpy's show at Art Basel

title: "A Cupcake Monster is STILL A Monster"
size: 10" x 10"
medium: acrylic on canvas

here's a quick post while i'm laying on the floor.

this is an nigh completed painting i'm doing for Mark Murhpy's show at Art Basel this year. i'll probably be able to finish it today to ship out tomorrow...praying that my Bayer kicks in soon. seeing how i'm now taking 6-8 tablets at a time, i'm surprised that my liver hasn't jumped out of my body yet and attempted to stab me in the head.

speaking of Bayer, this has pretty much been my diet for the past month and a half...what with 2 for $1 apple pies at Macdonald's, all the cake and candy they've been feeding us at the office, the Costco quantity Redbull and Bayer packs, and making sure i don't smell as bad because i've been sacrificing 15 minutes of shower time to pack in either 15 more minutes of sleep or work...i forget where i was going with this... but i'm also losing all feeling in my spine and right leg...so that's a good sign.
here are some pictures of my cubicle at work.

long and teen angst filled entry...don't bother reading.

2008-11-14T02:52:00.006-05:00

seriously you shouldn't read this entry, it's just me bitching and moaning...but i needed to get it out somehow. also, i figured since i somehow managed to finally nearly heal my spine back into its original configurations, i decided to completely throw it out again JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT! so instead of painting and trying to meet 3 out of 4 deadlines right now...i'm lying on the floor crying with a pile of sharp and jagged Sun Chips crumbs being crushed in between my neck and chin. of course i could just simply sweep the chips from off my neck, but damnit...I DESERVE TO BE LAZY EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE!!

ok so here's what's been up with me this month so far. this is only the abridged version..

-halloween parties over at Neopets..fun over. work resumes
-given position of lead artist for a game project to be released before winter...hard-deadline due on the 14th
-asked to do some over time due to an overload of requested artwork from corporate.
-starting a painting for Mark Murphy's show at Art Basel in miami due around the 18th
- an old buddy from college, Serge Gay, asked me if i'd like to help him do some animated paintings for the Fall Out Boy music video they're working on.

ok...so at this point everything is going awesome. this is old news, nothing i can't handle...and that's when things start to come crashing down around me...

-last minute decision for music video job to paint 7' long cardboard panels with some aerial scenes. (this is where i popped my spine back out again, as well as bruised my knee caps while trying to kneel over the boards on concrete.) no sleep from friday night til sunday afternoon as i was working on an animation at work due on monday and painting these panels with the worst translucent house paint anybody could paint with.

a little irritated...no biggie. a job's a job. i can catch up on sleep later.

-monday morning i get a call from another buddy of mine asking if i could do an iphone application job that another aritst was originally supposed to work on but got caught up on some personal shit. of course i'll do it, no problem! all i have to do is simple Flash based static drawings all due by friday asked to be done in MY style...shit i pump out about 10 flash drawings easily every day at work in someone else's style. this was cake. and for a REALLY good fee too.

so i get home from work around 730pm, start working on the roughs til around midnight and then decide i need a nap til 3 and then start painting the piece for Mark's show. i'm tired...but i'll survive. just got to paint til 830 then i gotta go to the post office to pick up a package that i supposedly have because nobody was home to receive it...

so i get down to the post office and can't find a single parking spot for 10 minutes. I finally get one and slap all my change from my car in the meter only to get a crappy 12 minutes. walk 2 block down to the post office...WHAT THE TITS!??! VETERANS DAY...CLOSED!!?!??! FUCKING KIDDING ME!! WHY THE FUCK WAS THERE NO PARKING AROUND THE CLOSED FUCKING POST OFFICE THEN!?! FUCK!!!

whatever...just get to work by 930 you'll be fine you'll still be able to leave by 6pm tonight to meet with the guys from the other job to look over story boards. i make it from korea town all the way to glendale...until i realized that i left my security card and wallet at home

MOTHER FUCKER!!!

i dont get to work til 10:45. slap on my computer, check my emails...

"uh, you know that winter board game you've been working on all last week and this weekend? you know for all the artwork that had already been approved and tested...well can you redo all of it so that it looks like it was made with a 3d program in flash?" (and of course i am badly paraphrasing with some horrible exaggerating. my supervisor is actually really a good guy, but this was out of his hands but you get the point of my frustration)
anyways, whatever, i'll do it no problem, i'll get it all done by friday's deadline.

email comes in about the iphone job..."the client wants it to look more like japanese anime...they really don't know what they want. but they really like anime. can you redo your roughs and send them in again?"

ANIME!?!? I'M GOING TO TITTY FUCK YOUR MOM!! RRAAHG....it's ok. whatever. it's a job. i've had these jobs before. just do the job, give the client what they ask for and get your money and run.

6pm comes along...even though i came in to work mad late...fuckit i gotta meeting i gotta get to. meet up with the guys about the music video...go over the story boards and list of assets needed and they say,

"oh and guess what...you know those panels you stayed up all night painting with serge? yeah we ended up not using them at all..haha they were apparentely too large for the carousel. hoo-boy. crazy huh?"

and you know what? despite the shit that's been happening, i am so suprised at my exterior optimistic appearance that i've managed to portray. "yeah that's no big deal...this type of thing happens all the time," i tell them.

i get home after the meeting...fuck now i gotta "anime" my original drawings for the iphone job...i finish around 3 am. still got a little bit of redbull in me so i decide to paint some more until 7...today i need to go back to the post office to get that package...hopefully they're open this time.

i'm not even going to tell you the bullshit that went on in that post office..but let's just say that i was about to beat the shit out of the old man who had the mold farm growing in his ears with the stinky old lady standing behind me.
but i did finally get my package. and it was of Heiko Muller's book that he sent me ages ago but got returned to him because of the same post office bullshit...but Heiko man...you are the best by the way. you fucking made my day with that little book of yours. seriously if i didnt have that thing to look at during the rest of the shit i was about to get into, i think i would have accidentally killed the sweet little girl that sits in the cubicle next to me for no apparent reason...and she's been nothing but a kind and good friend to me since i got moved into that part of the office!!

so what happened that was such shit? i get an email from the iphone people..."hey so look, we're not doing the project anymore because what we really wanted apparently was something that looked like OVER THE TOP anime! like really crazy cartoony and comical anime shit..but still portrayed this incredibly serious and dramatic tone so that people take it seriously and not a joke like sailor moon, but if you can make it as close to resembling sailor moon because THAT'S WHAT WE FUCKING WANT BECAUSE WE'RE MOTHER FUCKING VAGINA FLABS WHO DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT THE FUCK WE'RE FUCKING FUCK FUCK TALKING ABOUT!!!....FUCK!!!!"

so awesome...i just lost a $3000 account just because my subconscience apparently doesn't want to be a fucking tool and draw anime. good job dave.

well, so i then shut off my computer, Nhu (my cubicle buddy) asked if i was ok, i calmy said i was fine, then quietly walked down the emergency stairs, into the parking lot, and then to my car and RIPPED THE HEAD OFF OF A FUCKING STRAY CAT!!! HOLY ASS!!! I FEEL LIKE EVERY JOB I'VE RECEIVED THIS MONTH HAS BEEN DEALT TO ME FROM THE MONKEY'S PAW!! I MEAN...GAAAWAWG! STRETCH BALL SKIN! I'M TIRED!! I'M...IF...

Ok you know what, i'm done bitching and moaning. that's all i needed to get out. i can't spend anymore time blogging. i still have a fucking painting to finish.

ps. is there some kind of a rigged easel set that you can buy so that you can paint while laying on your back?

YES!! OBAMA!!!!

2008-11-03T23:29:00.004-05:00

you know what? yesterday i had uploaded these photos from this weekend's halloween parties, and i was going to blog about all the exciting things that happened during these parties and the fun costumes i saw and all that..

BUT WHO FLIPPING CARES!! WE HAVE OUR NEW PRESIDENT TONIGHT!!! GO OBAMA! thanks to everybody who went out and voted today...there's too much excitement to really talk about me or anything else right now, but because i already uploaded these photos last night...just look at them and make up your own captions for now.

WOOOOOH! MAKE US PROUD OBAMA!!

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absent from the internet

2008-10-26T20:54:00.005-04:00

thanks to the few of you have been calling me up lately just to make sure that i'm still painting and alive. thanks for your concern...
well, just to let everybody know what's been up, i've been taking a break from the art life and just focusing on my full time job. but don't worry, that's about to change, the vacation is over and i'll be getting back into things soon enough, way too many shows coming up and not much time to get them done.
but things have still been hell for me, last month i slipped a disk moving some furtniture which has left me spending the majority of my time laying on my back on the floor. i haven't had this happen to me since i was 16 when i got flipped off the back of a 4-wheeler...luckily a pile of sharp rocks broke my fall. anyways, this whole back pain issue has just been another excuse for me to not stay on the computer for long as i already spend 9 hours a day in front of computer at work, when i get home, i like to spend it laying down.

so enough of my bitching and moaning, here's some works that you might not have seen.

Also, here's a cake i made for our office potluck.

it's supposed to look like this:

you can find out what the hell a Blumaroo is at www.neopets.com

ok...my back is about to destroy itself now, so i gotta go lay on the floor now.

comicon 2008 and July news.

2008-07-29T18:06:00.029-04:00

WAAAAAOOOOOOOAAAAGGH!!damn this year's comicon was intense. i missed last years, but this year cardboard spaceship got me an exhibitor's pass just as long as i promised them to do a signing with my wiener. i wasn't going to say no.

My journey started on Friday, i drove down to San Diego (don't worry, this entry is whale's vagina joke free) to attend the Yoka panda show, over at Subtext Gallery. here's the panda that i did for the show.

(too lazy to post anymore about the opening)

So after the show Chris Ryniak was kind enough to let me crash at his hotel down at the sheridan. it was fine up until he started telling me to hold him closer. then it got REALLY awkward. I mean, spooning is really physically awkward to begin with, so...whatever.
we decided to leave a nice little present for the next occupants to discover on their own.

So anyways, the next morning was an all you can eat assloads of breakfast buffet.

Then it was off to the comicon...i unfortunately didn't take that many pictures. but i mean c'mon, it's really the stories you want right? you can find pictures of comicon everywhere else. they're all of the same thing anyways.

Mr. Roboto

Jabba the Gentle Giant

old guy in iron lung suit.

Now compared to Esther Pearl Watson and Mark Murhpy, who went around taking epic photos of people's asses, crotches and boobs...my pictures are boring.

I do however wish i had a video of Mark telling his tale of epic proportions. I could never tell it the way that he told it, but this is essentially how he described what happened to him Saturday morning at 8:30 AM while trying to set up his booth. Apparently one of the guards was having a power trip and being a douche AT THE SAME TIME and wouldn't let him in with his cart piled with boxes and boxes of hard cover Murphy Design books of pure awesomeness unless he carried them in one at a time. after arguing for a period of time mark decided to just move his cart to the side of the entrance and resolve the matter with the manager. while attempting to do so, the guard stops the cart with his foot causing all the books to fly off and spill all over the floor. To which at this point during his story, mark tells us in the most calm and collected voice i've ever heard anybody use before with the slightest hint of a smirk on his face, "...and man, i just lost it, so i slammed my palms into his chest and floored the guy. i'm crazy. i'll kill a bitch..." it was scary.
then at that point he said the vice president of comicon came over and told him that they made a mistake and then made all the gaurds apologize to him. Now even through mark's always cool and chill exterior, especially how he told us that story, i'm pretty sure he didn't just push that security guard to the ground. i think he flat out murdered him. Indiana Jones: Moloram style.
So anyways, after walking around and doing my signing and whatever other exhausting things we did, it was off to Mark's house for some beans and booze.

this is Mark.

Jennifer with Shannon, Jeff Soto, and Maxx242

Joel Nakamura and Esther Pearl Watson against the leaning wall.

Chris Ryniak, Yves LaRoche, Brandt Peters, and Kathie Olivas talking about fisting and fondling.

Kristian Olson...

...getting his ass eaten by his wife Debbie

Mark Todd Sketching...

...WITH HIS EYES CLOSED!!!

Travis Louie listening to Brandt's story

...but not really.

all the poop someone took on Mark's floor.

everyone getting yelled at for it.

...even though it was really all of Esther's crap.

then the night ended with many many many shots of tequila.

Thanks for the great party Mark! I left you a secret message in your sketch book!
(photo courtesy of Jeff Soto)

ok, so then after San Diego, it was off to Vegas for 3 days to meet up with Desiree who had a business conference meeting thing for work. She got to stay at the Mandalay Bay hotel, all expenses paid for by the company. the room was huge and i was totally rockin' on her corporate dime. it was completely awesome. while she was off going to meeting after meeting and basically working for 8 hours a day, i was ordering movies on the 50" plasma screen tv mounted on the wall, jumping on the two king sized beds in the room, swimming in the giant pool with built in wave generator, going around the lazy river enough times in a row until i threw up, winning at black jack for hours at a time and getting free drinks, then going back to the room to take a nap in a giant bath tub filled with champagne.
But that's not even the half of it! when Desiree got back to the room, that's when the fun started! hehe hahaaha HAHAHA!! MAN!! I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU HALF THE THINGS WE DID!!...well, actually now that i think about it, i can, because by the time she got back i was too exhausted to do anything because of all the excitement i had on my own. but it was still awesome!
This classic sketch from Chappelle Show comes to mind.

The last night were were there, we were so close to just saying "fuckit" and getting married. but her family would kill her and we'd have to start paying more in taxes and i'd rather not. but all in all, Vegas was completely awesome.

ok, now one last thing before i go...i quit my old job and got offered a position at MTV Networks for Neopets. i started a week ago. Now not only am i getting paid on time, i'm getting paid @#& as much as my old salary! but the pay isn't what makes this the best job ever...it's EVERYTHING that makes this the best job ever! plus, i've never met nicer people while starting at a new company ever before. i plan on staying with this company for years. Plus my old buddy Abe who i used to work with at my former place of employment started working the same day i started which was a nice little bonus. We still can't stop high fiving each other for landing such an awesome job. on top of that, long time blogger friend Dee C.K. had been working there for a month before me, with out me even knowing! life right now is awesome....the only thing that would make life more awesome right now is if Desiree would move out to LA with me already and we had a dog.

a french bull dog.

named roger.

CRAZIANS!

2008-06-23T00:10:00.005-04:00

I just wanted to give everybody a heads up on the upcoming "CRAZIANS!" show at the World of Wonder gallery down in Hollywood which opens July 11th and runs until August 4th, 2008.

World of Wonder
6650 Hollywood Blvd
Sutie 400
Los Angeles, CA 90028

Call them at(323)603-6300 if you are interested in purchasing any of the pieces.

The show follows the theme of rising Asian American artists and the cultural influences on their art. As America's endless fascination with "the East," the show takes a look at how our generation of Asian American artists interpret the phenomenon. Seeing how i am completely awesome and not just because i'm asian, I have been asked to be a part of this show...ok i'm sure that it's mainly because i'm asian...but...just check out the piece i did for it already. damn.

Title: "Zhong Kui: The Evil Effer Upper"
Medium: acrylic on paper
size: 8" x 10"

so who is this "Zhong Kui" you ask?? and why is he such a badass? well, i'm really no expert on the subject, but my mom used to tell me stories about this Chinese demon slayer muthafoodger when i was a kid, and his name was Zhong Kui (take note, in chinese, the surname "Zhong" is the same as "Chung"..therefore, i am badass by association). So anyways, here's my interpertation of him from what my mom told me as a kid and also from what i've read in chinese folktale books and of course wikipedia.

Anyways, Zhong Kui used to be this crazy ass scholar from the Tang dynasty or somewhere around then, who wanted to take this imperial exam to be let into the gates of awesomness. On his journey to take his SATs he stops at a temple to have dinner with some monks, and because he's such a crazy bastard, he drinks all their chinese wine and gets sloppy drunk and starts bad mouthing all the demons in hell. saying things like, " Man eff those dicks! i'll kill all of them, those dirty doucheballs!"
The demons in hell having heard him badmouthing them, decides to take a magic marker and draw on his face while he was drunk and passed out on the monk's couch. they originally had drawn a dick on the side of his face pointing to his mouth, but it smeared so they covered it up with a big black beard and then gave him a unibrow too.

Finally having made it to take his exam, he passes with an A+ and even got a scratch and sniff strawberry scented sticker on the front, but when the examiners saw how ridiculous he looked with all that magic marker on his face, they took it away from him and he failed. Completely pissed off he decided to take revenge on them by doing a triple mega hurricane backflip off the roof head first onto the steps of the palace and plaster his brain juice all over the place for them to clean up. He died 2 hours later laughing to death.

After he died and got sent to hell, everybody saw what he had done and thought he was the ultimate badass, and was given 3,000 soldiers to go out and kill demons on earth. Then one night when the emperor was sleeping in his cozy palace bed, a demon sneaked into his place and stole his favorite jade flute and his concubine's purse which contained all of her B.C. pills. The emperor awoke to this and screamed like a little girl, then out of no where Zhong Kui appears and rips out the demons eyes. And just to show off his awesome finishing move, Zhong Kui picks up the demon and eats him as if he were a burrito! The emperor was so grateful and impressed he asked him who he was, to which he got in response, "I'm Zhong Kui, you sloppy bastard. The demon slayer." then in a POOF! OF SMOKE!!...he walks away.

The next day the emperor was so stoked that he got to meet the demon slayer, went to the police and had their sketch artist paint him a portrait of Zhong Kui so that he could tape it on his door next to his poster of AC/DC

So from then on, the chinese people have been putting pictures of Zhong Kui on their front doors of their homes and places of business for ages as a symbol of protection against evil spirits and local assholes. And that's why you don't leave the air conditioning running when you leave your home either.

Well, there you have it, the incredible story of Zhong Kui and why everybody should own a print of him so you can put him on your front door or anywhere in your home for that matter. If any of you are interested in having the above piece of art replicated as a print for you to own at a reasonably affordable price, please leave a comment below and i'll see what i can do.

in Detroit...need to poop.

2008-05-27T11:25:00.008-04:00

So i'm back in Detroit for a few weeks. I really needed a break from work, and just in time too. Although i guess it's not really a vacation...seeing how the office set me up with a folder of designs i need to get done and sent back to them by the end of next week. oh well, atleast i dont' have to actually be at the office, but i wouldn't say being back in detroit is any better. The one good thing i'd say is that i get to see my Desiree and family again. which is really nice.

Anyways, last week was the opening of "One to Grow On" show, the opening was great. there was a really big turn out and huge thanks to Metro Mix and Smashed Chair for covering the event. here's a link to a little blurb smashed chair did on the event, including a few interviews on some of the attending artists http://www.smashedchair.com/interviews/one_to_grow_on/1988.html

also here are a few new works from the show

Title: "Young with No Responsibilities"
Medium: acrylic on canvas
size: 30" x 24"

Title: "ROFLMAO!"
Medium: acrylic on paper
size: 7"x5"

Title: "WTF!?...WHAT IT IS!?"
Medium: acrylic on paper
size: 7"x5"

Title: "OMG!!...What the Time Is At!?"
medium: acrylic on paper
size: 5"x7"

So in addition to this show, here's an upcoming show that's paying tribute Indiana Jones. Here's the piece i did for it:

Title: "Indiana Jones and the Hatred of Pants"
Medium: acrylic on paper
size: 5"x8"

so lately i've been painting more on paper in small sizes...and i think...

ok damnit...i can't finish this blog right now...i'm sitting in Panera Bread right now leaching on their free wi-fi...but i have 4 kids crying in my ear right now and i'm about to punch all of them in the back of the head. now i don't mind kids, i actually like kids. but when their crying is motivated by absolutely NOTHING...

YOU GET A PUNCH IN THE HEAD!!

you know, i don't know what it is about parents these days, but you guys need to take some time out of your busy day to sit down with your kids and hit them. I MEAN WHAT THE HELL!? it'll take like 5 seconds! my mom used to beat the shit out of me and my brother when we were kids. i turned out all right. pbbsssssh...bunch of sissy parents these days, i tell ya.

ok i need to get out of here, i'll post something else later.

THE FUTURE!!

2008-05-01T06:59:00.002-04:00

this is awesome! magic powder that you sprinkle on your missing body parts will regrow your EXISTENCE!!

so that was mad cool...in other subjects since i'm posting a blog apparently, is there anybody that wants to join Netflix? if you do let me know! netflix set up this deal that if pre-existing members get other non-members to join, you can get a whole month for FREE!!! my reward is that i get an extra dvd per month :) let me know if anybody wants to join! first come first serve

by the way, while i'm talking about netflix...damnit. IT'S SO AWESOME!! i don't know why i didn't join way long time ago. they got this "instant watch" thing included with most plans that allows you to watch movies and tv shows streaming online on your PC. and the quality is the TITS! on top of that ive been renting so many freaking movies its retarded. luckily i have a job where i can pop in 4 movies a day while i work, so again...THE TITS!! but even if i quit my job tomorrow, i'd be at home watching movies all ding dong day. TITS!!! ok well i'm done advertising for netflix...but..i love it so much...

SERIOUSLY!! if you're not a member already...YOU MUST JOIN!! also it'll make your penis grow larger and/or your boobs bigger and firmer.

TITS!!!

GEEEEYYEAAARGH!! py-AH!

2008-04-23T04:25:00.004-04:00

GEEEEYYEAAARGH!! py-AH!
really quick post right now, but only because i have nobody else to talk to at this hour and my brain is about to blast diarrhea all over my skull bones if i don't get this out. AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO GET OUT!! but i just spent the past 2 hours trying to do the math on seeing how much my work owes me since the beginning of 2008...and, well. IT'S A LOT! BALLS! TITS!! HAIRY PATCHES OF GENITALS!!
i think i'm more pissed right now because that was 2 hours i could have spent painting and instead i had to do math. I HATE MATH! on top of doing math, my pants got snagged on my chair when i got up to retrieve a print out of my invoice and i slammed myself into the floor. Luckily my elbow broke my fall on the corner of the table. unfortunately i spit out my last piece of chewing gum. DAMN you want to talk about unfortunate though?! a few night ago as i was getting ready for bed, i changed out of my pants, and thinking that i was going to be wearing the same pair of pants the next morning, i left the belt with the really heavy belt buckle in them to save time. So as i went to throw my pants over my hands in an attempt to fold them while walking towards my closet, the belt buckle swings under and UP into my testiclytes. i couldn't tell you how fast i hit the floor and curled up into myself. i hadn't been hit in the balls since i was a kid. i forgot how horrible it is. my muscles clenched themselves so hard from the pain i just about pooped and threw up at the same time.

and Speaking of things that happen in my apartment, i just got myself a room mate; a friend from Detroit, Shaunna. She actually used to be Desiree's old room mate. anyways she just moved out to LA, so i said she can pay for half the rent and live in the other half of the place. i got a big 1 1/2 room apartment so it hasn't been much of a change since she moved in. Honestly though, so far she's been one of the best room mates i've ever had. She cleans up after herself, is quiet, plus we both work so much we're either out at work while the other is at home or if we're both home we're in our own separate rooms working. so i have absolutely no complaints.
Although i do generally keep my door closed when i'm in my room, i've been doing it more since she moved in. Mainly just out of courtesy. you don't want to know what goes on half the time behind these doors. However sometimes the truth might be less shocking than what it seems. Late last night i was priming 3 canvases at a time with some brown house paints, i'm a clumsy person so not surprisingly i got gobs and goops of brown paint all over my hands and knees. Trying not to get paint all over my door knob to leave and wash up, i grabbed a wad of toilet paper to wipe myself with and to cover the door knob...well, let's just say that if you saw me coming out of my room looking the way i did, you'd jump to conclusions too. psshh whatever.

man i think i'm talking more than i should right now. but oh yeah! TODAY WAS MY BIRTHDAY APPARENTLY! i got to work this morning and the crew hands me a card and a bag filled with candy and toys from the dollar store. it was pretty damn awesome! i swear if it weren't for the people i work with, i'd have no trouble leaving that place.
ok well i've bored enough people for now, so i think i'm going to go take a shower then eat some candy. but before i go, here's a rough sketch of what i'll be painting next:

hey you know what...i also feel a lot better than when i started writing this stupid entry. thank you internet for letting me urinate brain juices all over your blank public breasts.

TITS BALLS JIGGLY HAIR!!

2008-03-31T23:50:00.004-04:00

so i thought last month was busy...i just spent the entire month living in the office of Fantasy Prone trying to get these designs done and out the door for an upcoming episode of Spaceballs. i think i've slept at home a total of 4 times last month. it was a pretty sweet deal though. they gave me and my buddy Jesse Aronson an entire episode to design. i'll let you all know when it comes out, i can't show you any of the designs right now, due to contractual agreements, but keep an eye out. it's all The Chung-ed out.

but anyways, tomorrow (april 1st), is the Hotwheels, Mattel sponosored show at G1999. so you gotta go check it out. a select few artists (myself included) got handed these pretty sweet VW vans to customize. check out G1988's blog to see the results some people have been doing so far http://www.g1988.blogspot.com/

so when it came down to making my toy...i really wanted it to be a toy. i wanted it to be something that people would PLAY with and not be afraid to fondle. so, i made my van into a silicone chode tickler. packed with flashy lights and a massive ground shaking dildo embedded into the mold. YEAAARGH!!! DIIIIILLLDOOOOOOOOOS!!!

THE MOLD...this is with the mini dildo for my test mold (not pictured) but the dildos inside the other final molds are 3 times as big and will shake the feces out of your intestines just by holding it in the palm of your hand!
the final mold. JELLY!!
I have a video of these guys...i'll have to put it up when i get the chance, but they vibrated so much they started moving on their own. it was pretty fucking sweet.

The Tickle bus

yeah so there you have it. i finally got to make my ticklers. next i'm going to make the entire tickle police cast soon to be sold on my website for all you lonely ladies out there.

well, come to the show tomorrow night. i'll be there. get tickled.

p.s. my mom thinks i'm a pervert.
p.p.s. my future mother in law thinks i'm a pervert too.
p.p.p.s. the lady who sold the dildos to me thought i was a pervert too. until i told her these weren't meant for penetration. then she thought i worked for the circus. When the lady at the sex shop says that you're asking a lot of weird questions about dildos and vibrators...you know you've done your job correctly.

HOLY BALLS I'VE BEEN BUSY!!

2008-02-27T02:39:00.009-05:00

GAAAAAAAAAWD!! i'm not going to apologize for the lack of blog entries right now. I DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE EVERY TIME I MAKE AN ENTRY!! sorry.

but TITS!! i mean c'mon! i've been busy. i pretty much fell off the face of the earth. i even banged my knee against my office table while doing so. IT SUCKED! it was one of those moves where you crunch your knee against the corner of the table leg then cry out in pain while thrusting forward to comfort your knee then you smash your forehead against the edge of the table sending your head off to the side to avoid further pain but then blast your left ear against the wall. and that's when you start peeing blood. wait...ok let me explain where i've been. some of you have been asking, "yo where the fuck!?" and yes "where the fuck" indeed. i'm simply back for this entry because i've missed you all and i'm starting my decent back to earth.

although i'm late...HAPPY NEW YEAR!! i was going to make a post on the first of january, but i didn't get time to and then i decided to go toPink's instead. then i got this giant mess of food.. i've been on the toilet ever since. but it was delicious so i'm not apologizing. then came Feb 7th (chinese new years) and i was going to post an entry up about that, thinking that i've got a second chance to tell everybody what i've been up to and to start off with a second new years. but then the temple that i live next to decided to set off 2 hours worth of firecrackers in an oil barrel and march down my street in a dragon dance dance parade. i got drunk by myself and threw bottles at them...therefore missing to post an entry yet again.

then from then forth, i've been working nonstop overtime 80 hours a week trying to meet deadlines for the show i've been working on "Spaceballs the animated series" with my second family at the office in beverly hills...and tonight...well i'm actually supposed to be still at the office working, but i decided to come home and shower for once. maybe eat a bowl of top ramen. play with the ol' weiner. oop. excuse me ladies, i meant masturbate. sorry.
anyways, pretty much my life has been occupied by the company that i currently am employed by. but no complaints! i actually love what i'm doing. in addition to spaceballs, they've got me started on desiging an entire show (top secret for now...i think. so i can't show you anything i'm working on. not for spaceballs either, not until it airs.) but that'd be cool for when it finally does. which is on March 28 on the G4 network. i think. i don't know. i just draw all day.

anyways...FUCK WORK! guess what assholes!? also while i was away from the internet, i got engaged!! FUCKYEAH YOU SLIMEY BITCH! so i finally popped the question and asked the lovely Desiree Fessler to marry me. and she said "YES!"
well, eventually. there really wasn't much talking involved. funny story actually...i show up to detroit the day after christmas surprising her early in the morning butt-ass na...well, i don't think i'm going to tell this story. you can ask her for the details. but believe you me...there were plenty of maggots and blood all over the place by the time she finally said yes. it was SO ROMANTIC!! YEAGH!! i even got down on my knee when i did it too. and a good thing too because i had an annoying wad of tape stuck under my sock that i needed to remove. well. so to make a long story short, i'm engaged now, so i better watch what i say and do from now on. so back off ladies. i'm taken! because you all wanted me before when i was single right? yeah. you did. i know i'm hot. i got a 1 on my hotornot.com score. the best score you can get! i know the truth. UNGH!! YEAH!!

so yeah, i'm all grown up now...i'm an engaged man. WHUT!?

Then after i went to propose in detroit, she followed me back to LA for two shows that she was in, one at Thinkspace for the bird show (which she sold all her work before the show even opened to some big shot hollywood writer. that dirty-...well. i'm proud of her.) then at the Stan Lee tribute show at Gallery 1988 where she again sold her piece before the show opened. here's a picture of the piece she did (sorry i couldn't get a better picture!)

i actually stole this photo from another website because i don't know what happened to the good one i took. i suck.

so the shows were great! then we ended up going to Disneyland. which is always awesome. except for this time it rained. and we were miserable. and i ate a soggy churro. I HATE SOGGY CHURROS!!!! but other than that, it was still pretty sweet. here's us on the Space Mountain ride.
i'm actually trying to shove desiree out of the way with my arm so that i could take a super hot picture of myself, but she just really wanted to be in the picture. it ended up being a cute picture, so i'm not going to complain. i'll post it up on myspace later and photoshop her out of it so i can use it as my new avatar. isn't highschool just such a drag! gaugh as if. penis.

then after that i sent her ass back to detroit to start working at her new job as a full time in house graphic designer. all right, i'm not going to lie. it sucks not having her with me. but it's best for us to keep the long distance going until we save enough money to move in together. however, on the bright side of things, i've never been happier! gay.
moving on.

i'm in that upcoming show at G1988 for the mattel sponsered show. and tomorrow the artists involved have been invited to take a tour to of the secret toy factory! i'm crazy excited! unfortunately they don't allow you to take photos or defecate all over their facilities, so i'll try to sketch everything out and show you guys. look for it soon.

all right anyways, i know this entry was just me yammering about shit you don't even care about, but you know what. isn't that what religion is all about? ISN'T IT!?!

OH! and p.s. if you happen to live in Turkey, pick up the latest issue of Photoshop magazin...they got a whole 4 page feature on me. it's awesome. i couldn't read a word of what they said about me...but i'm pretty sure they called me a "douche" atleast 3 times. but only used "douchebag" once. so eh.

Kill The CHUNG! rambo style

2007-12-23T15:19:00.000-05:00

A lot has been going on lately with me. I just recently moved out of my brother's place and into my new spot in Korea Town. i'm loving my new place it's huge and there's plenty of space to paint and be naked. NAKED!!
i'll definitely post some pictures up when i get the place all cleaned up and nice for you. But until i do feel free to shoot me and my army of Chungs in the official online Rambo game for the movie.

www.break.com/rambo

my brother, Chris, who helps do some banner ads for the company that created this website got a call from them one night needing some random asian bad guys for this game, so how could i pass up a chance at being shot multiple times in a game!? i was having so much fun doing the photo shoot i couldn't stop laughing or smiling while holding a machine gun in my hand.
Quoted from Art dork's very own Gregory Jacobsen "your smiling and carrying the gun like it's a baby puppy. but I killed you a few times anyway."

SO YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FUN!!

Anyways to play the game click on the link above to the site and move your mouse all the way to the right of the screen until it can't scroll any more and click on the game "Battlefield" and begin the madness!

TEEHEEHEEEEE! PUPPIES MAKE ME GIGGLE! HAHAAHEEHAHAAHAHA I KILL YOU NOW AMERICAN MONSTER!!!

Art Basel

2007-11-23T18:28:00.000-05:00

Here's a new piece i just finished last week for Art Basel being held in Miami.

Title: Tickle Police: Goo-Gun
Medium: acrylic on canvas
size: 8" x 8"

this is part of my tickle police series which will hopefully have actual functioning sex toys made from these characters. Something you and your special lady friend can both enjoy!

to learn more about this magical event ("KNOW" segment curated by the Ultra Mark Murphy) visit Mark's blog here: http://murphydesign1.blogspot.com

more new shows.

2007-11-11T20:17:00.000-05:00

so, unfortunately i've been having a really hard time trying to update and send out newsletters to everybody, and unfortunately 2 shows have already come and gone for this month that i had work in...but don't worry, i'm letting you know about this upcoming show right now. PAY ATTENTION!!

here's a piece that i just finished for the "Green" exhibition curated by the magical publisher/writer/artist/wizard, Mark Murphy which can be seen opening night at the Robert Berman gallery

Robert Berman Gallery
www.robertbermangallery.com

Bergamot Station Arts Center
2525 Michigan Avenue : Gallery C2
Santa Monica : CA : 90404

Green Art Exhibition : Nov 17 : 7:30 PM : Exhibit Opening :
The Robert Berman Gallery is pleased to present GREEN, curated by Mark Murphy, an exhibition that will showcase the inspired talents of over 40 artists including: Jeff Soto, Andrew Brandou, Robert Hardgrove, Marc Burckhardt, The Chung!, Kim Scott, Kathie Olivas, Mars-1, and many, many more! Artwork features an eclectic mix of visual storytelling as artists hope to reveal nature’s delicate balance with humankind. Exhibition will be on display from 11/17-12/22, please contact www.robertbermangallery.com for more information. Sponsored by www.murphydesign.com and featuring the live music performances of SSI and the Modlins.

here is the piece that i am submitting:

Title: "When Nature Calls, Try to Give a Little Back to the Community"
Medium: acrylic on Canvas
Size: 24" x 36"

Detail 1

Detail 2

I have already sent out an email to most of my collectors regarding this piece, however if anybody else has any inquiries about how to acquire this piece (or any other artworks in the show), Mark Murphy has requested that you email him about it: murphy@murphydesign.com

also you can check out the progress of the show at mark's blog http://murphydesign1.blogspot.com/

Also if you haven't checked out the Hi-Fructose show at Gallery 1988 i had two pieces in there, and the show was crazy! Attaboy and Annie Owens (Mother and Father of Hi-Fructose Magazine. As well as the nicest damn people i've ever met) put together this crazy ass show filled with the best damn art these days has to offer. so if you're in the LA area go and check it out! I MEAN DAMNIT!! i think they still have some candy left, so go and grab some!

ok, i have to work on another show right now coming up at the end of this month so i gotta go, but i'll keep you all posted!

Hi-Fructose

2007-10-29T00:11:00.001-04:00

Here's another painting i just finished last night for the Hi-Fructose show as well.

Title: "Evil Doesn't Exist Anymore"
medium: acrylic on canvas
size: 8" x 10"

the colors seemed to have all flattened out after i scanned the painting. but in person, you can see a bunch of weird translucent layering and shit going on. it's pretty cool. i know you should never apologize for your work, but i'm not, i'm blaming technology for this blunder. THIS AWEFUL HIDEOUS FOWL TASTING BLUNDER!! BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!

gaugh!

excuse me, but either i'm suffering from horrible seasonal allergies, or i have a sinus infection. but i'm dying...and non of you have donated a dollar to my Fighting against conjunctivitis cause yet.

what the hell.

PINK EEEEYE!!! THE EYE!! THE EYEEE!!! UNGH!!!

another new painting

2007-10-26T01:53:00.001-04:00

Here's a painting i just finished last night for the Hi-Fructose show opening November 6th at Gallery 1988:LA called, "Bitters and Sweets".

Title: "Things That Deserve a Punch in the Face"
Medium: acrylic on canvas
Size: 8" x 10"

new painting

2007-10-24T23:44:00.001-04:00

just a super quick post, i just finished this painting yesterday for the DVA gallerys "pick of the harvest" show in Chicago November 3rd opening

Title: "Cyclops Conjunctivitis"
Medium: acrylic on your mom's now defaced ass
size: 8"x8"

i don't have much to say for this except for that "Conjunctivitis" otherwise known as "Pink Eye" is a serious condition. Over 32 million Americans are infected by this deadly occular eating disease each year, which nearly always leads to the death of the family dog and the absence of Christmas. Statistics created by me show that at least 1 in 1 people you meet on a daily basis is likely to be infected by Pink Eye ...all the time, every time. Nobody is safe. However, with your help, and your delicious money, we can strive together to find a cure for this incurrable disease. By donating just $1 to the "The Chung is Searching for the Cure" foundation, i can purchase an eye cleaning kit to help prevent the world from this flesh devouring disease one eye at a time.

just send your money via paypal to thechung@thechung.com and i will take your money and use it.
for the cause.

do it please. my day job is not paying us on time and i haven't eaten in days. I'M SO HUNGRY!!! GAAAAAAAAAUGH!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO!! GIMMIE THE MONEY!!! THE MONEY!! GIVE ME THE MONEY!!! YOU SELFISH SELFISH HUMAN MONSTERS!! ugggghwahahnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!

my life is stupid

where the ding-dong have i been!?!?

2007-10-21T14:35:00.000-04:00

GWAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!! an entry into the internet diary is made once again! sorry for not updating in a long ass time but i've been away for a very long time. As much as i would love to tell you everything in every PARTICLE BIT OF DETAIL!..i do not have as much time for such craziness as J.K. Rowling had to write her Harry Potter books. So i am just going to give you a quick abridged version of what has been going on and where i've been.

well before i get started on anything, here's the latest painting i just completed:

Title: Oktoberfest Meat
Medium: acrylic on canvas

This painting was comissioned by Scott Mosier to give to Kevin Smith as a birthday/christmas/whatever gift. its basically a painting based off of the first story that Kevin and Scott ever wrote together while they were in college. A story about a little midget, an apprentice to the village's butcher, who falls in love with the soon to be butchered prized pig for Oktoberfest. The midget then finds the courage to kill his master and serving him at Oktoberfest in order to save the pig and then they run away on a motorcycle with sidecar. quite touching really.you can read about it on Kevin Smith's blog: silentbobspeaks.com scroll down a bit to see what the painting is really about.

OK SO NOW FIRST OF WHERE I'VE BEEN!! i had been hired onto the staff at Fantasy Prone to work on Spaceballs: The Animated Series as a Background / Props Designer. Ive been working there for the past 2 months now 5 days a week, 10 hours a day...half of which without internet. so that part of my communication was cut down. Working there has been a lot of fun, the crew i work with is amazing and everybody's a laugh to work with. there have been a lot of problems at work though regarding...well, for the sake of everybody who works there i'm not going to say. but let's just say i'm still eating instant noodles and living with my brother and his new wife (which i'm ultra grateful for!) I'd show you guys a few of the backgrounds or props i've done so far, but they would probably sue me and cut my testicles off...AND I NEED MY TESTICLES!! SORRY FOR BEING SO DAMN SELFISH! GAAAUGH!!

so anyways, after the first 2 weeks of working there, i had to ask for vacation for another 2 weeks because i had to fly out to Hawaii with Desiree to attend my brother's wedding. It was beautiful, i'll show you a few pictures of my trip. but just to give a quick little description, we basically went snorkling every day. I even brought a little underwater camera baggy with me which i used to take a bunch of cool under the sea pictures. i'll post them soon when i get the chance.

Then when i got back from hawaii it was jumping straight back to work at Spaceballs and painting til 5 am every night when i got home. so there was very little time for anything else...2 weeks later i had to fly out to Detroit to attend PART 2 of my brother's wedding. yes. it was very beautiful again.

so now hopefully back to reality for everybody, i got back and again jumped right back into work and painting. only to find out that i might not have a job anymore because of the...oh yeah, i wasn't going to say. but well, i might not have a job anymore. but atleast i was able to pick up a hefty check from my last few gallery shows to keep me eating for a few more days. plus it'll be good seeing how i also have 3 shows in november, 2 shows in december and 2 shows in january that i haven't quite prepared for...i could use the time.

ok well, there really is a lot more i'd like to tell you guys, but i think i need to spend my time a bit more wisely in order to not kill myself.

which i'm very close to doing.

New Prints Available!

2007-08-23T03:29:00.000-04:00

"Ultra Nipple Twist!"
5 color hand-pulled serigraph signed and numbered on medium stock fine art paper.
These prints have all been hand-pulled by The Chung, which makes each one ultra special and unique!So hurry up and get your print today, they won't last long!

Edition of 120.
Size: 17.5"x13.5"

All prints are shipped flat via USPS priority mail.

Cost
$45.00 USD
+$9.95 S&H

AND!! because while i was going through my suitcase, i found a folder of old sketches on a bunch of loose paper...so as a fun little treat I am going to be slipping a signed sketch into every TENTH print that is sold online! could it be you? WHO THE HELL KNOWS!! JUST BUY A PRINT!!

And after you're done buying a print check out Guillotine's website, they did a studio visit with me. so get a better glimpse into where i work by clicking here: http://www.glltn.com/?p=1508

In other news, i've been helping out on and off part time at Gallery 1988 and today when i went on a supply run down at Staples on Sunset blvd in Hollywood, i was totally standing in line right behind J.K. Simmons dressed in shorts and an old comfy looking T-shirt while he was with his wife and two kids...atleast i thought they were his. The dude is huge by the way. He looked way bigger in real life than on the screen. well, i mean i know when he's on the screen he's like 30 ft. tall, but i mean he was tall in real life! and pretty built, i wouldn't want to get in his way. He was totally in a hand cast though, so he probably just got done whomping on some jerkass, i didn't want to be next so i didn't say anything, make eye contact or make any sudden moves. Although i guess it's no big deal to regular hollywooders to see movie stars like that daily, i still thought it was cool. Then out in the parking lot i see him drive off in a really modest looking minivan. it was really nice to see. He kind of reminded me of my Uncle Bill Scripture in some ways. A loving family man who could kill you in a second if you messed with him.

awesome.

Guys' Guys show

2007-07-31T01:22:00.001-04:00

went to do a studio visit at Jeff Soto's last Sunday where he had all his friends and family take a peak at his upcoming show at Jonathan Levine before shipping it out. and boy let me tell you, it was awesome. that dude just gets better and better. i hate him. haha.
but then he gave out a bunch of goodies like, Tshirts, Books, buttons, condoms, etc. so i forgave him. plus i won his giant QUEE toy at his raffle drawing.
but check out this freaky stray chihuahua that was following everybody wanting attention.

it was really sad actually. all you ended up wanting to do was pet it and give it love...but didn't want to get near it because it had pink eye and looked like it could be carrying a zombie virus.
i didn't take very many photos of jeff's studio or home, mainly because i didn't feel comfortable taking pictures of someone's private home or life and then posting it up on the internet for everybody to look at. but here's a few snaps of his new work instead:

sorry, but images of Jeff's work has been removed by request of Jonathan Levine. Sorry!!

ALL RIGHT so that's enough about Jeff...this blog is supposed to be about ME! AND HOW AWESOME I THINK I AM!!
So I'm in Gallery 1988's upcoming show which is entitled "the Guys' Guys" and will be opening on Tuesday, August 14th from 7pm-10pm.

here's a direct pull from their ad for the show:

10 Dude Artists Invade G1988: LA
Opens August 14, 7-10 PM!
Gallery 1988 is proud to present its newest show, "The Guys' Guys," featuring work from 10 male artists from all over: Matt Dangler (NJ, image above), Roland Tamayo (LA), Dave Chung (Detroit), Jose Emroca Flores (San Diego), Zach Johnsen (NY), Parskid (Seattle), Travis Lampe (Chicago), Andrew Wilson (San Diego), Rich Tuzon (LA) and Peter Taylor (Vancouver). All ten of these artists are being considered some of the most promising in their genre (those seen in our recent "Crazy 4 Cult" show all sold their pieces), so make sure to catch this exhibit.

For the past month, i've been locked up in the bathroom, painting all of these (plus several other pieces for other shows) and damnit...DAMNIT does it feel good to finally get out of the bathroom!! I got offered to do this show last minute (last month) substiting for another dude who had to back out due to personal issues, so I've been painting like mad ever since. Also, i know it's no new concept, but i've been listening to audio books while i paint now, and it just makes the time fly like crazy! Its way better than listening to music while you paint! and having been someone who's never really been into the whole Harry Potter series, i just started listening to all the books and...well...I'M SUCH A NERD!! i've been getting so into it too, i embarrass myself. i've caught myself a few times saying "Malfoy!" out loud with such disdain every time he enters a scene. then i realize what i'm doing and have to tell myself "it's ok. it's just a book...BUT I HATE HIM SO MUCH!!"

ok, i'm not talking about my nerdiness anymore. check out my paintings:

Title: Sea-Monkey Knife Fight
Medium: acrylic on canvas
size: 8" x 8"

Title: Two Scoops of What-the-Hell-is-That?
Medium: acrylic on canvas
size: 8" x 8"

Title: Warm Waters 1 (top): Despite the Temptations of Warmer Water, Baby Narwhal Knows Not To Enter the Ocean.
Title: Warm Waters 2 (bottom): Don't Breathe
Medium: Acrylic on canvas
Size: 30" x 10"

Title: Friendships Usually Start with a Wet-Willy
Medium: acrylic on canvas
size: 14" x 11"

Title: Exorcism of the Phantom Booger
Medium: acrylic on canvas
Size: 10" x 8"

Title: Herman's Been Caught Licking Smunch-Berries Again
Medium: acrylic on canvas
Size: 8" x 10"

ok, well if you want to see them in person, and i suggest you should, go to the opening and say hi to me! it'll be fun. DO IT!!

Crazy for Cult!!

2007-07-18T04:20:00.000-04:00

CRAZY FOR CULT!!! the first (of many) Crazy for Cult shows opened up last night at the wonderful Gallery 1988, and the shit was CAAAH-RAAAAY-ZEEEEEEEE!!! holy shit it was packed! over 2000 people showed up!! The line itself wrapped around the entire block and people were outside waiting hours before the show even began! it was almost as bad as a San Diego Comicon. Anyways, i'm sure you are all waiting for pictures of the show last night so here we go:

Brendan Danielsson's sexy chick cocking a gun...haha! oh, puns. how wonderful they are.

Scott Campbell's cool ass little drawings. I love these, all the various characters were based off of a scene in a movie before they die, but they're all happy and waving to each other. the way real life should be like.

Greg "Crayola" Simkins' Edward Scissorhands. you really need to see this one in person, the details will make your eyes bleed...ANALLY!! yeah, it's good.

Darth Blader.

Jensen being interviewed by Reelz TV.

Ah yes. This is my sexy pose. enjoy it, Americans.

I didn't meet this artist, but she's being interviewed in this photo apparently. She had some really cool artwork though. right? someone verify this for me...well yeah, i'm going to say she did.

Darth Vader hand grenades cast in bronze. very cool and very heavy. perhaps filled with candy? yes. they are most definitely filled with candy. Actually i believe they are filled with "Pop Rocks" to be more specific. definitely 100% filled with "Pop Rocks"!!!

edit: I have just been told that they are not filled with "Pop Rocks" or any other type of candy. They are solid bronze.

pbsssssh, whatever.

Jensen being interviewed by a reporter from G4. She can't stop starring into his beautiful eyes.
Matt Dangler's Willy Wonka piece.

Gabe Swarr's Pee Wee Herman piece. Very fun piece...i mean just look at that ass! have you ever seen a tighter ass than that of Pee-Wee Herman's?! I think not!

oh hey look, it's Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier...looking at art. at an art show that they're hosting. These two dudes were the nicest people ever. I totally expected two hollywood assholes, but these guys made you feel like they were just there for the show.

Kevin Smith talking to Jeff McMillan
Kevin and Jeff posing in front of Jeff's painting that Kevin just purchased.

then kevin changes his mind and tells Jeff to help him hang it back up on the wall and give him his money back.

Jeff, being interviewed after the very awkward moment.

the talented Mark Bodnar being interviewed by G4.

oh hey, i recognize that piece of shit artwork. i wonder how he even got into this show. oh wait, that's my piece. nevermind.

Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith defend a frightened japanese school girl.

Jason Mewes, Plasticgod, and Kevin Smith holding pose in front of camera photo taking machines.

Gary Baseman and Shepard Fairy discussing business. i overheard them talking about building a giant laser gun on the moon pointed at earth for some sort of....ransom? and taking over the world? i dont' know what they were talking about. sounded boring though.

Kevin Smith about to cup someone's nads.

...they were my nads. he's shocked because he wasn't expecting me to be packin'. i'm huge.

Everybody's drunk and happy. Especially Mark. you gotta love him

Gary was standing there with that pose for more than 3 minutes waiting for someone to take his picture, so i decided to be a nice guy and take the damn photo already

at the end of the night fanboys cornered Kevin into the back alleyway so he could take photos with them and sign posters. there were no survivors.

Ok so now i'm going to end this entry with this photo:

ME posing with Edgar Wright (Writer and Director of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz) 3 minutes after he purchased my painting. I only tell you this because i am completely bragging and rubbing it in everybody's face like an asshole. no it's ok, take it in. you like it. that's it. yes. you love it. don't fight it. shush now, it'll all be over soon. i show you a good time now, we eat pie later.

all right anyways, him and his girlfriend, two of the totally FRIENDLIEST people ever!!, were super easy going and easy to talk to. I totally made myself seem like a total tool fanboy though. For some reason i had to tell him that "Shaun of the Dead" was the first movie i owned when i moved into my Detroit apartment and i watched it every single night for 48 nights in a row and watched "Hot Fuzz" twice within 14 hours of each other in theaters. i'm such a tool. But he was super cool and then he tipped me off to meeting them at their booth at Comicon, where he wanted me to meet Nick Frost (Ed). don't know if he said Simon Pegg will be there or not.

Anyways, that was that! the night ended with nearly everything sold and many artists and art buyers happy!

OH! and just to add really quick, Jensen told me today that Samuel L. Jackson waltzed into the gallery to take a peak at the show. AWESOME!

by the way, huge high fives to Jensen for putting everything together so nicely and dealing with all the ulcers this show must have caused him.

Crazy for Cult show - Gallery 1988

2007-07-16T17:42:00.000-04:00

Really quick post:

This Tuesday (7/17/07) at Gallery 1988 is the Crazy for Cult show. Hosted by Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier (of Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, etc) come to the opening it's going to be crazy fun! here's another piece i did for the show:

This one is based off of Shaun of the Dead

Title: "Shaun and Ed Sharpen Their Zombie Fighting Skills with a Playful Penguin Race"
Medium: Acrylic on Canvas
Size: 24" x 18"

UPDATE:
and here's what i just finished for the Untitled Love Project for ISM magazine. CHECK IT OUT!! the project is based off of bad relationships...this one is based off of a relationship that started off fun, but ended up sucking.

Title: "INCORRECT!"
Medium: Acrylic on Canvas
Size: 14" x 11"

Soto, Ryniak, Chung (LA RAMPAGE!) - Chung POV

2007-07-07T13:09:00.001-04:00

Sorry everybody, but this is going to be an ass packed blog filled with magical photos and stories that revolves around a 3 day adventure about THREE DEMON KILLING HEROES FROM HELL'S ASS!! CHRIS RYNIAK! JEFF SOTO! AND THE CHUNG!!

DAY 1: RYNIAK
(aka: Grandma Ovary Bitch Slapper IV)
enters Los Angeles

Chris flew into town to set up for his show with Scion. So he was going to be in town for awhile. I thought i'd pick his ass up from the airport and drive him around town just as long as he gave road head...we'll get to that later. it was good. Here's the flyer for the upcoming show

After picking him up from the airport we headed to the hotel that him and all the rest of the artists were staying at. Scion apparently paid for everything and put them up in a nice ass haunted hotel: the Culver Hotel. which is FOR SURE to have some kick ass dead hookers!!

Chris Ryniak after hearing that the hooker we were about to purchase is missing her legs....and is really actually a dude.

MIDWEST SIIIIIIDE!!
After defeating the hooker, we ended up driving down to the Scion Space so Chris could set up his show. The space is mad nice. apparently it was where my brother's old job used to be. it was kind of funny to see, however nobody else cared. but the space is huge, it was like an airplane hanger.

Chris showing off his work. mad cool!

even monsters need to get crunked

Ronald Kurniawan's work.
this dude's work is so crazy good. He has so much highly rendered details in his paintings, especially this huge one, that you feel like you're in them.
These are some of his Lightning Bolts in a Jar. Check out the kick ass labels he made for them.

So after i hung out at the Scion Space for a few hours, I left Chris there to do his shit and headed home to go to the opening of the Kwik-E-Mart with my brother and his fiancee.

tee hee i am doing a funny pose in front of a picture taking camera. how wonderful
A brand new shipment of Krusty-O's and Buzz Cola were devilvered in a truck disguised as a roofing company. I guess they didn't want to advertise what was inside so that it wouldn't get car jacked by some die hard fans.

My brother (chris) and i ate so many bowls of Krusty-O's and drank so many Squishees we ended up overdosing on sugar and passing out.

DAY 2!: FREE TIME ADVENTURE
(aka: 4TH OF JULY)

So after waking up with a sugar hangover, Ryniak calls me up and suggests we harrass some sea creatures at the Long Beach Aquarium. I decided not to wear underwear for maximum efficiency in pressing ham.

a seal swimming by to critique my style in pressed ham. The asshole only gave me a 4
well, this shark though i had a nice ass
then there was this little fish...
...who ended up telling all his fish buddies to check out my ass. I ended up scoring a 10. FUCKYEA!
Chris at a hand washing station, pissed, because I tricked him into touching a "Sea Cucumber". he should have known better though, it was in the men's room for crying out loud. homo.

After the aquarium, Burritos and Beer were dancing in our heads, so we headed to Tequila Jacks to satisfy our stomachs.

We even ordered table side "MAKE OUR FUCKING GUACAMOLE NOW BITCH!" for an appetizer. it was the best damn guacamole i have ever had! i think. i don't really know as i don't eat a whole lot of guacamole. but it was good.
apparently Chris thought so too

After falling into a food coma, we decided we both didn't have enough diseases, so we drove to Venice Beach.
We ended up finding a nice pair of legs to give to the legless hooker back at the hotel.

these guys were doing "Roller-Skating TaeBo" i bet you every single person in this photo is a Tranny. also...if you zoom in, the "chick" on the far right is tucking something very suspicious between her butt cheeks.

Venice Beach was definitely worth seeing. it was much like the circus. We ended up just walking around for awhile until the beer hit our bladders, and finding a decent toilet suddenly became life threatening. We ended up waiting in a line full of people doing the pee-pee dance until we were at the front waiting to get into a stall that had been occupied for over 20 minutes. I finally had to throw some pennies under the stall and pound on the door telling the inconsiderate toilet patron to hurry the fuck up. She finally came out of there all wet looking like she had just taken a shower. Either that or she just dropped a major deuce and got covered in back splash. uugh gross.
After that, we agreed that enough was enough and drove home.

DAY 3!!: JEFF SOTO
(aka: SOTOFISH)
and his homie John takes us out Tranny Hunting.

Jeff and John came rolling by the hotel to pick us up around 10:30am in Jennifer's car (who was nice enough to let Jeff use it to take us out. Thanks Jennifer!!)

The first spot we tried to hit was the Billy Shire Fine Art Gallery to see Tim Biskup's new show. Unfortunately the place was still locked when we got there, so we decided to go to the Scion Space to see what more the crew had put together, but that was locked and closed too. Doesn't anybody wake up before noon in this town!?
Chris and Jeff on the phone outside of the Scion Space calling up Gary Baseman to see if we can swing by for a studio visit.
SUCCESS!! Jeff and Chris outside of Gary's studio.

it was really cool to see how Gary works. he's got all these drawings on tracing paper taped up on his wall while working on a million paintings at once. out of respect for Gary and BSFA gallery, i won't post too much up of what he was working on.

but here's a picture of Jeff talking about feelin on some booty while John smells the other end.

Gary telling us about his show

It was awesome of Gary to let us visit him and get a quick tour of his studio, even though he had a butt load of work to do and was still in his pajamas. Shortly after, we all felt it was best to leave him to his work and head off to the next location on our itinerary.
These really cool Kangaroo Paw plants were outside Gary's yard, i had to take a picture of them. I've never seen them before, i just thought they were the coolest.

The next stop was Gallery 1988! Home of "I AM 8-Bit". 2 weekends ago, gallery owner, Jensen Karp took me to a gelato place called "Scoops" where i had the best damn gelato. EVER. let me give you a quick synapsis of the place. Run by a single Asian man who is a proclaimed food chemist, creates 15 new flavors every day made from the oddest ingredients. Creating flavors such as Avacodo and Bannana, Bacon and Cheddar, Rainbows and Happiness, etc. This was definitely a spot to go to, and Jensen agreed to take all of us there.
Waiting in the back alley of G1988 for Jensen to come back from walking his dog
Chris showing Jeff his impression of a sexy tiger. Jeff however reminding Chris that he doesn't eat meat and should cease flirting with him.
Jensen comes back with Benjamin, the Bug.
Ben's ass...you know you want it.
Inside G1988 to see the show that's still up "Packed and Loaded". very cool work! you guys should go check it out while you still can before they take it down.
Jensen Karp...CAUGHT!
Standing around talking about art. pbssssh. LIKE WE CARE!
on our way to get the infamous gelato, we see random acts of vandalism.
"FUCK! SCOOPS IS CLOSED!?"
"dude i don't know what happened!? this guy never closes! don't break my legs...please?" - Jensen

So "Scoops" was closed and we didn't get our gelato. It's cool though Jensen, this shit happens. even though it was just a non stop bitchfest of, "way to go Chung! yeah, 'let's go eat some gelato'. THAT'S THE LAST TIME WE'RE LISTENING TO CHUNG!!" ...sigh. gelato.
Anyways, we then ended up driving to La Luz de Jesus for some porno mags. Jeff ended up walking away with an armful of books.

here's a sneak peak of the show they were setting up for that night, "Sweet Spot". a solo show featuring Daniel Peacock. too bad we couldn't make the opening but this dude's work is amazing.

Jeff's pretending to be an elephant

After La Luz and several hundred dollars, we drove down to Thinkspace Gallery to check out the Artdorks show.
Ryniak and Soto: Walking on Sunshine

"dude, just smell my finger"
Jeff putting up one of his stickers

"Pbsssh, you see that shit, fuckin' pie!"

Next we drove to the Merry Karnowsky Gallery to see the 10 year anniversary show. There were so many amazing works up! It's always nice to see this stuff in person than just online!

Todd Schorr
Junko Mizuno
Jim Houser

Next stop was the New Image Art Gallery where a group show , "Brodeo" had some amazing artists . To name a few of the artists, there were the Date Farmers, Dave Ellis, Eric White, Kelsey Brookes. This space is amazing! It had the feel of being able to grant artists to do whatever they can dream of doing here. very cool.

For lunch we initially wanted to go to GR Eats, but for some reason they close between lunch and dinner. It seems like everything was closed for us that day! oh well, perhaps next time. Instead we ended up going to "Hurry Curry" to have some mind fuckingly good curry!

"dude, SERIOUSLY, SMELL MY FINGER!!"
"fucking gross dude"
"Do you think i should wash my hands?"

Full, happy, and ready to die. Thanks for lunch, Jeff!!

Walked a few hundred feet over to Giant Robot.

Jeff taking a photo of one of his toys.
Soto, Ryniak, and Chung drawing in the GR sketchbook. we request that you do not steal this page.

Ryniak buying shwag at GR2
Okay, so by now, it's around 5:30...and all galleries close within half an hour. we haul ass down to BFSA again to see if it's open. it wasn't. but someone was there to let us in after pounding on the door and screaming to let us in, "there are zombies are outside!"
This is perhaps some of my more favorite of Tim's work. I've never been so struck with so much emotion behind a body of work before. It was really powerful. you can really see that he's going through some major shit in his life, you kind of felt like crying. but at the same time you're like, "THIS IS SOME AWESOME SHIT!! I'M GLAD HIS LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW! BECAUSE LOOK AT WHAT IT PRODUCED!!" then you feel bad for thinking that, and you want to cry again because you're an asshole and nobody loves you. Either way, Tim's work is bad to the ass and i always enjoy looking at it.

Next stop we headed on over to The Lab to check out the "AAA" show. featuring Andy Jenkins, Andrew Pommier, and Andy Mueller. Three Andy's...therefore "AAA". it had nothing to do with auto service. but definitely NOT a disappointment! I wish i could have made it to the opening.

Next we started to drive back to the Scion space to see the set up of the show...which i need to leave for in 5 minutes if i want to make the opening. but check out the trunk of Jeff's car. Those are all the books he bought that day. He should just buy a shelving unit for that car.

Esao Andrews painting his wall installation. This dude is such an amazing artist! His paintings always has me thinking that "THIS" is what you do after you die, have an eerie fucking good time! Big fan!

ALL RIGHT!! well that was it! we all went home exhausted and happy. I've never been more inspired. the whole day felt like it was a weekends worth of event. IT WAS AWESOME!! we got to see some great art, some exotic trannys, the Man in his pajamas, the inside of a dogs ass, and all while hanging out with some bad ass homies.

you can check out Soto and Ryniak's POV on the day at their blogs:

Jeff Soto's Blog
Chris Ryniak's Blog

So did i bore you to death?? yes? well good. I need to stop blogging for awhile because i have to spend more time painting and less time typing. So i might not update for a few weeks, but before i leave, all of you need to attend the "Cult Movie" show that i'm in on July 17th. I'll have 2 pieces in the show and it's going to be filled with incredible artwork and some cult movie stars too :) so go to the opening and say hi to me. DO IT!!!

Cartoon Network Show

2007-07-02T17:19:00.000-04:00

on Saturday, Cartoon Network hosted a silent auction within their building for a charity deal. Thanks to Chris Battle for tipping me off on the event, i was able to donate art for sale. it was a great show. lots of great animators and background paintes had donated work, many of which were originals from shows. I also got to meet a lot of very nice people! and coincidentally Kevin Staniec from ISM magazine was there taking photos of the event with his photographer. It was by a crazy coincidence that we met too. Apparently we've shot emails back and forth once or twice before about an upcoming show at Thinkspace and a book project that he's putting together, but had no idea what each other looked like. This lady Julia, who acted like my unofficial agent (very cool and nice lady) introduced me to Kevin and we were all like, oh you're so and so and...man, this sounds really boring. anyways, it was funny. kind of. shut up. But in addition to being introduced to Kevin, Julia also introduced me to Zita Lefebvre, the Director of Operations for Cartoon Network, and the one responsible for curating and running the event. Although i didn't get to speak with Zita too much, she was ultra cool and nice to let me submit something to the show. so, THANKS ZITA!!

So i apparently sold my piece (the holographic "Ultra Nipple Twist!" piece: framed) to a guy who also donated $150,000 to the auction that same night. Awesome! and from what i heard, he bought it to hang in his new multi-million dollar beach front home of huge ass-ness! so i heard. i don't really know. i could be making the whole thing up and none of you would really know. but this is what i'm saying, so just believe in it.

Here are some photos of the show.

definitely a very cool time! oh and also check this shit out, ArtAZ has me as their featured artist this month.

and while i have all of you here, check out this new painting i'm working on for the "Guys' Guys" show in August for Gallery 1988::LA
i just started, so it's still in it's infancy, but here's what i got so far as of a night and a quarter ago:

it's two piece put together to make one. it's a diptych (hahahahaha...diptych) eh, well, i just really wanted to say "diptych" there's really not much to see or say here yet.

but check back next week, there's going to be a huge posting probably. Chris Ryniak is flying in to town tomorrow for his show with Scion curated by Francesco LoCastro, and Jeff Soto offered to take us out on a gallery run and buy us all hamburgers. so check out the photos! we'll probably post up hundreds!...well, maybe not hundreds, but check it out anyways. asshole.

well i'm off to paint again!

new paintings

2007-06-22T01:40:00.000-04:00

Here's a new painting i just finished for the "Cult Movie" show at Gallery 1988. It's based off of Dawn of the Dead.

detail

Title: "The Best Elbow Skin Comes from Earth Zombies at Dawn"
Medium: Acrylic on Human Ass Skin
Size: 24" x 18"

Now i'm about to do a painting based off of SHAUN OF THE DEAD, that Jensen wants me to do. should be a fun ass painting.
the show opens July 17th at gallery 1988 and the show is hosted by big mac daddy Jersey boys Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier. and already a bunch of cult movie stars are said to come to the opening. should be a good time, right? RIGHT?! COME TO THE FUCKING OPENING ALREADY!

oh yeah and i'll also have some pieces at Gallery 1988's SF location at the end of this month, so go check that out too damnit. well, there's pretty much 3 huge shows that i gotta paint for 13 total paintings i need to complete by august, i'm off to paint some more now. so i'll speak at you later. more updates to come. SO KEEP CHECKING BACK!!

but wait, before i go, a quick shout to Denise Chavez and her friends at Nickelodeon and Technicolor for inviting me out to lunch and just shooting the shit about art, life and driving tickets.

TINY ASS STUDIO YO!!

2007-06-14T03:56:00.000-04:00

so! the show at Thinkspace was a fucking blast! Lots of artwork got sold and everybody had a great time!

here's a group photo of all of us. i'm the one humping Robert Hardgrave's head. here's the line up from Back to Front, Left to Right: Scary Joey, Kim Scott, Kristian Olson, Aaron Nather, ME, Justin Degarmo, Robert Hardgrave, Jeremy Pruitt, John Casey, and Michael Slack?! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T I SEE YOU THERE, MR. SLACK!? i'm pissed i didn't get to meet you.damnit. oh well.

anyways, click here to view more of the photos and shit from me and the other dorks:
Chung Flickr
Thinkmule Flickr
Kim Scott Flickr
John Casey

also, i just thought i'd share with you guys where my studio is...

ok well now i have to go poop...er, paint..with my toothbrush. so i'll post more later.

-THE CHUNG!!

I ARRIVE IN LOS ANGELES!!

2007-06-05T03:33:00.000-04:00

HEY!! so i made it! i am no longer a Detroit resident. i am now unofficially a resident of the Los Angeles community...well i still have to get my new liscense and register and all that crap here, but i'm basically a resident..living in my brother's apartment. illegally. with no spare key to get into the apartment. and i have to park 3 blocks away from the building. but yeah, i'm basically a resident. DAMNIT!!! BUT big thanks to my brother and his fiancee for letting me stay with them until i get on my own feet. you guys been awesome! i'll buy you fancy gifts later.
anyways it feels pretty good. so far since i've been here i've received several warm welcomes from the art community out in the west coast, and it's been great! but due to the move and my computer VOMITING HWUAAAAGH!!! ALL OVER ON ITSELF BEFORE LEAVING DETROIT, here's what you guys have to deal with:

i lost a lot of my data involving emails and my mailing list from 5/01/07 to Present. so if there were a bunch of you who feel like you want to be on the mailing list again, please email me and i'll put you back in there. sorry for the inconvenience! GAAAAAAAWGH!! I SAID I WAS SORRY!!! SHUT UP!!!

but here's a quick update on what's going down this month...

first check out the feature that the Art Dorks had in the premier issue of New Angeles Monthly magazine. it's the Bees Knees!!

they also asked me to do an interview for them, so if you want to read that here's the link: http://artdorks.com/new-angeles/chung/

Then on the 8th of this month the Art Dorks are having our first coast to coast show out of two in LA at the Thinkspace Gallery the film crew from vimby.com will be there shooting a segment about us. and i think vinylpulse and juxtapoz online will be having some features on us this week also. so check it out!!!

Also, if you're on the east coast, in NYC June 15th the McCaig Welles Gallery is having the second Art Dorks show, "Art Dorks Squared". go check it out as well, it should be a blast. A BLAST I SAY!! SHHHBEEEAW!!!

either way, go check out both shows, half the ADC will be at both shows signing shit and donkey punching. KAPOW!! PPPBTTTHH!!!

Then on the Upper West Coast in Gallery 1988 San Fransisco location i have a piece in their upcoming group show "Back For Seconds" opening June 29th. so go check that out too, it'll be so awesome you'll have butt-pee for a month!!

Also, coming soon for sale by the end of this month, 5 color Hand Pulled (by THE CHUNG!!) Serigraphs are going to be for sale! the edition is of 120, so get them while they last! each one is signed and numbered.

title: "Ultra Nipple Twist!"
size: 18" x 14"
ink and paper supplied by my old work place The Highway Press in Detroit. if you're ever wanting to get silk screening done go there, they do some quality shit. These prints here however i pulled (my first silk screening fine art print ever...so each one is pretty much one of a kind hah) anyways, they go on sale at the end of this month at www.thechung.com for $20 each (shipping and handling included).

ANOTHER THING!!...Brendan Danielson (Art Dorks creator) just got these awesome ADC shirt printed up. one of his design and one of mine. go buy one of each!!
www.artdorks.com/store

Chung Design

Danielson Design

ok, well i think that's all the news i have for now...i'll post more soon when i get more time...its now time for eating of the food.

-THE CHUNG!!!

quick post! check it out!

2007-05-01T21:18:00.000-04:00

Hey, just a quickie. The Second issue of Moloko+ is out and it has an interview that i did for them in it. Check out Molokoplus-mag.com. Moloko+ is the independent pdf-magazine about graphics, photography and music.

Also within the issue are interviews by my old mentor, Joseph Daniel Fiedler (aka Scary Joey)(aka Uncle Scary), and two of the nicest illustrators i've ever met, Mark Todd and Esther Pearl Watson. also included are features on some amazing photographers such as Giacomo Brunelli, Patrick Tsai and Madi Ju, and many many more. go check the issue out yourself.

bye

I'M ALIVE!!!

2007-04-27T18:24:00.000-04:00

FIRST OF ALL check this shit out, fellow artist Attaboy just came out with his first animated cartoon called "Too Many Robots" which featured on cable last friday (i think on the disney channel) here's the link to see the video.
cool ass cartoon Atta! and remember to rate the video 5 stars after watching it too to perhaps vote it into a fullblown series!! DO IT!!

ok, now onto ME! because that's what this blog is all about, ME!!! PAY ATTENTION!!!

SO i finished that piece for the McCaig Welles gallery in NYC. well, i might go back into it and touch some stuff up later, but it's done for the most part. check it out!

title: Only Desiree and Banana Slug Know of the Secret Unlimited Corndog Giving Tree"
Medium: acrylic on canvas
size: 18" x 18"

and in other news, i just turned 25 this month...i never thought the day would come. according to my mother, i wasn't supposed to live past 25. well, i did it. EAT THAT MOM!! you and your crazy chinese prophecies can go PBBBBBFFFFFFFFFT!!!!
For those of you who don't know the story, my mom told me that i wouldn't live past 25 about 6 years ago, did i believe her? no. but the more and more shit that she kept telling me, the more and more i find that they come true as i progress into the future. i think my mom is some sort of a witch or Jedi master. Anyways, for the past 6 years i've been waiting for the day to come where i would just end up dead. Probably a good thing to live in fear, it definitely made me appreciate life more and work harder, i like to think that i've done okay for myself so far. but it became increasingly scary last year. i'd say last year was the scariest year of my life (so far). what was scary was that my mom warned me to watch myself that year (the year of the dog...my birth sign). According to her witchcraft, every year that falls on the year of your sign, you'll encounter a shit storm. A NON STOP SHIT STORM!!! that's what mom said anyways. at first i thought it was all a load of poo, but then i started having horrible health issues where my intestines ulcered causing me to bleed internally, chest pains that made my body go numb, a bacteria infection on my face broke out causing me to scab up and leak puss nonstop, a mole on my back that started changing shapes, and on top of all that, my skin started falling off on my legs and hip!! You have no idea how much work and school i missed last year because i was either at the doctors or scared to leave my home. it sucked the ass.

So after finally being approved for a health insurance that i could afford, the doctors told me to change my diet from fast food and Redbull to something healthy and not so stupid. And definitely get more sleep! Changing the diet was the hardest part, but after i got used to it the pain stopped and i stopped bleeding after pooping. IT WAS AWESOME!! I think the skin falling off was the scariest though. it was because of my bacteria infection, i thought i had contracted a bad case of the herpes, but after visiting a bunch of doctors, they just told me i had impetego (sp?) an infection that kids get all the time from being dirty. i guess i was dirty. but from that doctor visit they noticed a mole on my back that was weird and mishapened...so i had to get it removed. while i was waiting for the results of that to come through (it was negative), all the skin on me waist down started turning red and falling off and itching like mad. DAMNIT! YOU EVER SEE THAT MOVIE "THE FLY"!? THAT'S WHO I FELT LIKE!! I WAS SETH BRUNDLE WHILE HE WAS METAMORPHOSIZING INTO THE FLY AND HIS EAR FALLS OFF AND HE VOMITS ON A DONUT AND EATS IT...MAN! THAT SCENE WAS TOTALLY RAD!! THEN HE THROWS UP ON THAT GUY'S HAND AND IT MELTS OFF AND IT OOZES ONTO THE FLOOR LIKE "MEEWUAHGUGHGHG"!! what a cool movie. oh, anyways, after worrying my ass off i come to find out i've developed a "minor" case of psoriasis and i'm not turning into the fly nor do i have the herpes. RELIEF! later i find out my dad has had psoriosis for years too. thanks dad. jerk.
so why am i telling the world all my problems now? well i figured since i'm alive now and none of that actually killed me, why the hell not. it was embarrassing at the time to even mention it, but hey, it's all good now that i know i don't have the Fly syndrome.

In other news, my birthday was perhaps the best birthday i've ever had!! ULTRA low key, no party, nothing but me and Desiree going out for Ultimate Sushi and a movie. we went to see "Hot Fuzz" (best damn movie ever!! next to "Shaun of the Dead" of course) and then came home and baked a birthday cake! IT FUCKING RAWKED!!! CHECK OUT MY MONSTER OF A CAKE FOR DAVID DAY!!

HAPPY DAVID DAY!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOH YEEAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!
I LIVE!!!

THE INSIDES ARE GREEN!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!! DELICIOUS!!! ULTRA-DELICIOUS!!!

so, i had fun. the only thing that probably would have made it more fun was if Spiderman showed up and did a backflip web flinging thing out my window.
that would have been awesome.

all right, well i'm off to get some more painting done. i lost about a days worth of work yesterday from a massive coffee overdose. while driving home from work i ejected vomit out my window only to have to pull over on the side of the on ramp to 8 mile from I-75 so i could fill up my precious grocery bag filled with receipts and chewing gum with more bile and coffee. then i went home and cried in the bathtub for 8 hours.

Reviewing what i had just written in this post, i am a disgusting human being. good lord, i wouldn't be surprised if i don't have any friends left after they read this, or even if i'm able to ever make any new friends again! hopefully the sun in Cali will do me good. dang.

ULTRA SUCCESS!!

2007-04-21T13:20:00.000-04:00

So i heard that the I Am 8-Bit show was an Ultra-Success! and that it was so huge that the line to get in wrapped around the entire block and then everybody got naked and had a huge sex orgy and then the Centurions beamed in and let everyone stick wieners into their body suit holes. it was awesome...so i heard.

but check out some press and pics from I Am 8-Bit plus some sites that've been featuring my piece (i heard it sold too!) OOOOOH YEEEAAAAGH!!!

http://www.joystiq.com/2007/04/18/joystiq-is-there-i-am-8-bit-opening-party/
http://www.4colorrebellion.com/archives/2007/04/17/i-am-8-bit-opens-tonight/
http://kotaku.com/gaming/i-am-8+bit/i-am-8bit-i-am-back-239530.php

in other news:
if you live in the Los Angeles area, pick up the new magazine coming out next month called the "New Angeles Monthly". Leah Lehmbeck did an interview on me and a few other Artdorks about our upcoming show at Thinkspace.
Also check out next month's online magazine issue of Molokoplus-mag i also have an interview in there. Both of which are pretty entertaining.

Also, i donated a crap load of paintings to Thinkspace's community art project called "Re: Mission". it's for a good cause, it's basically an art event/auction that will benefit children with cancer at the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. and all the proceeds from the show will be donated to support CHLA's Art Program. it's a nice little thing that Dzuy and the guys at Thinkspace gallery put together. Also there'll be a book published of all the works submitted. so check that shit out!! I'M ALL ABOUT CHILDREN WITH CANCER!!
well, not that i like that they have cancer or that i participate in giving children cancer...but, i mean helping kids who have cancer...to get rid of. the cancer. BOOOOOO!! CANCER SUCKS!!
ANYWAYS the damn thing will go down at Thinkspace Gallery on June 2nd. So go buy some art and help a child in need out already!! DAMNIT!!

and also here's an image of the latest piece i'm working on. it's a portrait of Desiree feeding a giant banana slug a corn dog from a corndog tree of life. the photo sucks, but i'll get you a good copy when i'm done. don't worry.

ok, i'm gonna go eat some chicken now.

ONLINE GARAGE SALE & NEW PAINTING

2007-04-05T17:43:00.000-04:00

So as a lot of you already know, i'll be moving to LA at the end of May. and i still have a lot of CRAP i need to get rid of. so i need your help, i have set up an Amazon.com account to sell some books and games, and movies, and whatever else i need to get rid of. so if you're interested in helping me out, go to my online garage sale and buy something!! and if you write me a note, i just might slip something in your package as an added bonus (HINT HINT: PERHAPS AN ORGINAL SKETCH, EH?!) so go here to see if i have anything that you might want!! and i'm constantly adding more crap to sell, so BUY SOMETHING!! i just need to get rid of it!!

ALSO don't forget to buy a Tshirt from me if you haven't already done so, they're almost all sold out, and i'd like to be able to get rid of all of them before i move. www.thechung.com/shop.html

now in other news! I have a new painting i just finished, also for the Thinkspace show in June. CHECK IT OUT!!
also, i gave my purple friend some fur. he looked a little too boring without it.

ULTRA MADNESS!!!

2007-03-15T12:52:00.000-04:00

so the other night me and Reno went to the Lager House in Detroit to see Slim Cessna's Auto Club...i think that's their name. i don't know, Reno knows. i don't listen to music. but anyways, well first of all, let me ask you people a question (those who've met or know me) do i look like the kind of person who's just so damn friendly you can just come up to me and start a conversation? or do i look like the kind of asshole who'd threaten to punch your kids face as soon as they popped out of their vaginal fortress of solitude? THE LATTER I HOPE!!! COMPLETE YOUR DECISION NOW!!! GWAAAAAAAAUGH!!!

anyways, while we were waiting for the band to play, Reno and I were standing up against a wall just being totally awesome when this short-shaved-headed-tatoos-and-piercings-everywhere looking guy walks up to me pats me on the shoulder and has a huge friendly smile on his face and says to me, "HEEEEEYYYY!!! HOW YOU DOING!?!?"

i have no idea who this creepy little man was, but he acted like he knew me. i say something like, "good thanks....all right, goodbye" then turn back to Reno to continue a conversation that he interupted. the guy just stands there for a minute and then walks away.

anways, the band starts and we all pack into this tiny ass little room with a stage, maximum capacity is like 30 people. We spot someone up at the front of the stage who looks like Mark Heggie. he's got an orange button up shirt on with a black tie, a mustache and a beard that looks like Satan who runs a carnival freakshow, long tied back hair, sun glasses, and a huge ass cigar in his mouth. basically looking like the bad ass dude that Mark Heggie is.
next thing we know some dude is moshing around up front and Heggie starts glaring at the guy like he wants to kill him. shortly after, Heggie basically does kill him. he shoves the guy from the front of the stage all the way to the back through everybody with one hand on the guys chest and one hand on his cigar then shouts at him to get the fuck out. starts to walk back to the front of the stage and then turns back to give the mosher a look that just screams, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU WITH MY BRAIN!!!!
the mosher runs out of the bar like he's about to cry. about 10 minutes later, he comes back ultra drunk and starts moshing at the back of the stage trying to get to the front. (first of all, i'm ALL for moshing. but when you're at a bar concert around a bunch of people who already can't move because the lights from the ceiling are stabbing them in the eyeballs...it's not a good time to be moshing). so this guy keeps jumping on me and Reno and a bunch of other people. Reno's pushing this idiot out of his way non stop but he keeps on moshing. then the short-shaved-headed-tatoos-and-piercings-everywhere looking guy starts moshing with the guy and knocking reno around indirectly, which lead Reno to push and shove back. Then all of a sudden short-shaved-headed-tatoos-and-piercings-everywhere looking guy grabs a hold of Reno's arms and starts shouting at him like, "C'mon stop fucking pushing me! you guys are no fun!" and they lock arms like their either about to fight or make out, so i wedge myself inbetween them and push short-shaved-headed-tatoos-and-piercings-everywhere looking guy away and yell, "DUDE! FUCKING STOP!!"
Then what does he do?! WHAT DOES HE DO!?!?! HE PATS ME ON THE FUCKING SHOULDER LIKE HE DID WHEN WE WERE UP AT THE BAR AND THEN GIVES ME THE BIGGEST FRIENDLIEST SMILE AND SAYS "HEEEEEYYYY!!! HOW YOU DOING???"
what do you say to that? i didn't know at the time either, so i say, "uh, good. thanks."
then he walks away and up to the bar and buys a beer.

anyways, i dont' get it. either i knew that guy or he knew me, or people just think i'm a complete joke. i dont know, i'm horrible with faces and names. i dont' even remember what half my relatives look like.

just like this one time, when my car broke down and i had to walk home from work when i used to live downtown and it was pouring rain out, this guy drives by with this girl and shouts out the window "THE FUCKING CHUNG!!! THE CHUNG ROCKS!! WOOOOOOOH!!!" i have no idea who this man was, but he stopped the car so i say , "HEY! what are you guys up to?" hoping he'd offer me a FUCKING RIDE!! but nope, he just replies with , "nothing, just driving around. ok see ya!" and drives off.
I MEAN C'MAAAAAAUGHN!!!! well, atleast the sewer vents kept me warm while walking home.

ok enough about my little life, here's the next show that i'm in coming up soon:

i won't be able to make it, but if you live out in the LA area, just go already damnit. i'll be arriving to LA in June.
here are some sketches you can look at that i'll probably turn into paintings soon too:

you can't see it in this sketch, but she's actually vomiting on her kid.
nothing more than a nipple twister

ok, i have to go get ready for a wedding now. so, i'm gonna go eat some cereal or something.

-THE CHUNG!!!

new works

2007-03-04T15:21:00.000-05:00

HI! it's March and it's getting closer to the day that i leave for California. to reiterate my show schedules, make sure you make it to either one of these two specific shows. Two separate Artdork shows on the same exact night June 9th on two separate coasts of the US.

-New York City @ the McCaig-Welles Gallery
-Los Angeles @ Thinkspace

The Artdorks are back and are taking over your brain meats on one glorious night!
here's a taste of a painting i just got done with for the show at Thinkspace

Title: "Even Asian People Don't Understand Grimace"
Medium: acrylic on Canvas
size: 14" x 11"

I actually went with a more "technical" route with this painting. i sketched, i did color comps, and all that crap. WANT TO SEE THE SKETCH FOR IT!!?? yeah i bet you do. oh yeeeeah. so delicious!! TASTE MY PUDDING!!

ok, so there isn't much of a difference between the sketch and the painting. but that's the whole point. the painting went by ultra fast because of the absence of FUCKING AROUND!! ok, here's some other tastey nuggets of crap that i've done too.

These were for that show in Hoboken. Desiree sewed and framed that fuzzy vagina for me. unfortunately the gallery director pulled it from being shown last minute because he said it was not in good taste. if you ask me, the whole show was in bad taste. it was based around a short story some guy had wrote about a guy who was adopted by a giant mutan bunny that shot bunny fetus' out of it's vagina and the guy ate them for survival. atleast that's what i think that story was about, i didn't actually read the whole thing. but COMAUGHN!!!! how is a FUZZY FAH-GINA NOT IN GOOD TASTE COMPARE TO THAT!?! IT'S CUTE AND DELICIOUS!! If provoking the feeling of wanting to put your face up to the mutant triple clit and rubbing your face all over its massive Vagi-lips is in bad taste, I DONT' WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S NOT!!!GAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!! THE WORLD NEEDS MORE MUTANT PUSSYLIPS!!

ok, anyways...

OH YEAH! i no longer teach anymore!! I QUIT!! UUUUGHN!! YEEAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!! BEST DAY OF MY LIFE THAT WAS!! so i no longer have to watch my language at school OR anywhere else for fear of losing my job!! so, FUCK FUCK FUCK DICK BALLS CUNT SHIT DAMN VULVA ASS DOG CAT TREE SHOES SPIDERMAN!!!

OK GOODBYE!

new shows yeah?

2007-02-10T04:01:00.000-05:00

here are new shows i'm in soon. i'll have more details later, i'm super tired right now, and more importantly i just bought the new Castlevania game for the DS and i need to get playing. i just thought i'd post something up before i get too lazy and don't do it at all.i'll post more details later.

i'm in this show in Hoboken, NJ at Maxwells gallery. the opening is February 19th 7-10pm. go see it if you're in Hoboken

Also I'll be in the Fountain New York show February 22. pretty big deal apparently, directly across from the Armory show at Pier 94.

Also showing at La Luz de Jesus Gallery on March 2 for the Everything But the Kitschen Sync show

OH YEAH! and i'm also in that I Am 8-Bit show at Gallery 1988 opening in April. go to that one too.
and i'll be in another Gallery 1988 show the month following that i think for Cult Movies.

umm, i THINK that's all for up til april or May. i dont' know. and don't forget about the two awesomedellic shows coming up in June back to back at two separate coasts of the US:June 9th Thinkspace gallery and McCaig-Welles Gallery are hosting two shows celebrating the Artdork Collective members.
so i think that's it for now. i hope you get the chance to check them out if you're in the areas.

ok, i have some jelly to eat now. i'll post more details after the jelly.

GREAT SCOTT!!!

2007-02-08T13:17:00.000-05:00

i just had the weirdest dream! i had a dream that i was Marty Mcfly from Back to the Future and i was trapped in the year 1985 with Doc Brown. we came across our old selves from when the future got switched around in Back to the Future II but we didn't stop to say hello. WHY WOULDN'T WE STOP TO SAY HELLO!?! MAYBE WE COULD HAVE HELPED OURSELVES OUT!! stupid laws of temporal dislocation. anyways, so we then had to hide out in this old garage and live in the backseat of the Delorean eating cereal and tootpaste. but then while we were telling ghost stories someone started pounding on the garage walls. BAAAAAM!!! IN BUSTED THE TERMINATOR!! ARNOLD WAS TOTALLY GOING TO DESTROY US! HE STARTED CHASING ME AROUND THE GARAGE WITH A BASEBALL BAT AND A CUP FULL OF PUDDING AND THEN HE FINALLY CAUGHT ME! WAAAAAUGH!! "DONUT MOVE!!" he said right as he slammed me into the floor.
then that liquid metal guy showed up and tried to kill both of us. and Doc was still in the Delorean eating toothpaste and using MY TOOTHBRUSH!! i was so going to kill him. THAT'S JUST GROSS!! but lucky it was just one of those cheap travel toothbrushes that you get from any hotel if you forgot your own. i like getting free stuff like that when i travel..BUT ANYWAYS THE next thing i know i'm getting shot at by one of those big ass chain guns and Terminator's taking all the bullets in his back while he's eating his pudding. Then he gains spiderman powers all of a sudden and jumps into this big theater where they were holding American Idol auditions. i ran up to the stage to tell everybody to get out but then instead i just started to sing Money Maker by Ludacris and they all hated it. so then they started throwing lizards at me. WHO GETS LIZARDS TO THROW!?

but that's when i woke up...and i haven't been able to get Money Maker out of my head since then. AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE LUDACRIS!!

New work in progress

2007-02-01T17:41:00.000-05:00

Hey, well i just wanted to share a new painting i'm still tweaking with for the next "I AM 8-BIT" show for Gallery 1988. it's based on Contra. remember Contra? REMEMBER!!!

Title: "Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right,...WHAT!?!"
medium: acrylic on canvas
size: 30" x 24"

there are still a lot of little things that i want to fix on it, but because of time restraints and that the gallery is looking to get most people's works to them for their press releases, here it is. don't remind me that the photo sucks. i know it sucks. DAMNIT I KNOW!! Even Mark Murphy's told me that my photo skills are the sucks. unfortunately i don't have proper equiptment or know how to take a good photo of paintings, especially for print. so if any of you out there know how to properly capture souls through the lenses of a digital magic picture box, please, TEACH ME!!

oh yeah, to further embarrass myself by showing you my mad photo skills, i have these to show you from the other day on my way to and from work.

it's hard to tell, but my entire car had a thick shell of ice around it. took me awhile just to chisel the ice away to get in.

This is where i work at. The Russel Industrial center. it looks like it'd be the coolest place to be at for a zombie infestation.

well that's about that for photos right now. i have a bunch of shows coming up for the next few months, so i'll keep posting them up here for you to keep updated if you care.
i'll do it later though, i just got done teaching and i'm drained. not really from class, but just in general. i felt bad because i kind of took some frustration out on my students today. oh well, they'll get over it. bruises heal over time just as long as you're able to lie about how you got them :)

OR ELSE!!!

NEW SHIRTS!!

2007-01-21T22:30:00.000-05:00

yes! NEW SHIRTS ARE FINALLY ONLINE FOR SALE!!!

GO HERE FOR PURCHASING FUN!! www.thechung.com/shop.html

shirts are $20.00 USD ea. plus $4.95 for shipping and handling.

ok, so now you know most of the details about the actual shirts...here's the thing about them. They're being sold for a very good cause and 100% of the proceeds will go to charity.

the HELP THE CHUNG MOVE TO CALIFORNIA CHARITY.

that's right, despite the fact that i've recently moved to a new apartment, my lease is only a 6 month one, and the dream to move out to the west coast has never been bigger. I feel like i've been nothing but talk for the past 10 years, saying i'm going to move out to Southern California as soon as i graduate from college. well, i've been out of college for the past 8 months now and the most moving i've done is the move out of Detroit into the suburbs. not a very big move. nor has it been a beneficial one to my career or mental stability.
Now don't get me wrong, it's not that there's anything wrong with the Midwest, it's just that California for some reason has always been the place i've wanted to be at. And now that i have the perfect opportunity to get up and move before i get myself a job here that'll tie me down even longer, i just need to make a few extra bucks to pay off all my bills as well as a little extra for the move out there.

So, what i'm really asking for is advice. if any of you know of any good "affordable" places to live at let me know. I'll be first living in Culver City with my brother who has very generously offered for me to live with him for a few weeks until i get my own place.
but of course just the purchase of a shirt will do just fine too :)

and for those of you who are curious, no Desiree will not be coming with me then :( we're both pretty torn up about it, but have both decided that this would be best for me. just as long as i don't look or touch any other girl out there WITH MY ENOURMOUS MUTANT GORILLA HANDS OF TEMPTATION!!!!! but that's ok, Desiree will be joining me out in the westcoast soon enough and bringing that sweet delicious booty with her!! YES!! YEEEEESS!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!

ok bye. go buy a shirt now. i'll see you in Disneyland

I WAKE UP TO SMELLY!!!

2006-12-31T12:43:00.000-05:00

so i'm finally moved into my new apartment. and i mean finally...where all the boxes and crap have been moved from my old to my new. just finished last night. this feels good. as soon as i get this place all cleaned up i'll show you guys some TOTALLY AWESOME PICTURES!! i like to take pictures in naked though...and have someone take them for me. so if there are any volunteers out there...just email me. we have wild sex party, eh? EHNG!?!

ok so, yesterday morning Desiree and i woke up to this STINK knocked us both out of bed. honestly it wasn't that bad of a stink, but it was a stink that if you were in a chinese restuarant and all they were cooking were buckets of garlic, onions, and SHIT!! kind of a stink. i mean this stink shoved itself into your sinuses and then slapped the hell out of your brains while tugging on your genitals...it was something i didn't want to wake up to.
you know, it's one thing to wake up to loud noises because of the thin walls in your apartment...but it's another when you have to wake up to their smells. i guess i shouldn't complain though, at least i have a place.

I've been trying to work on this new piece which i was supposed to have done by tomorrow for Gallery 1988 for the next I-AM 8Bit show, but i havne't had a chance to really do anything for it because the past month i finally got put on full time at the Highway Press (www.thehighwaypress.com) which is a really damn awesome place to work at, we make some high ass quality shirts and art prints. Niagara, Glenn Barr, Emek, Tristan Eaton, and recently Shag have been getting their fine art prints done up there, just to name a very few list of artists. it's been really cool to be helping out printing Shag prints. we did some up for the Jonathan Levin gallery solo show he had just last month (i get to keep a copy of each print i help with :) ). it was totally awesome. OH NO I LOST MY ORIGINAL THOUGHT MEATS!! WHAT WAS I TRYING TO GET AT!?

well i forget, but anyways, my apartment smells like garbage yet again. so i'm going to go vomit into the vents and hopefully share my feelings with the neighbors beneath me.

I'M MOVED!!

2006-12-24T12:35:00.000-05:00

GOOD HELLO! so i've finally moved out of Downtown Detroit, and moved into the suburbs...i guess if you want to call it the suburbs. my new place is twice the size of my old place and costs the same, and it's next to all these grocery shops, so i can finally eat my own cooking rather than dollar menu meals. everything about this place is great!! except for the neighbors. DAMNIT I HATE MY NEIGHBORS!! YOU CAN HEAR EVERY SOUND THAT GOES ON IN THE OTHER APARTMENTS, YOU CAN SMELL EVERY SMELL, YOU CAN TASTE EVERY TASTE!! WHY DO I ENJOY LICKING MY WALLS SO MUCH!?! I HAVE ONE NEIGHBOR WHO SEEMS TO WANT TO KILL ME. EVERYTIME I WALK OUT OF MY APARTMENT HE RUNS OUT OF HIS TO SEE WHO IT IS. HE EVEN PULLED A KNIFE ON ME ONE NIGHT, "JUST IN CASE YOU WAS SOMEONE ELSE. YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL BECAUSE I'M HANDICAPPED, THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS ANSWER MY DOOR WITH THIS HERE KNIFE." first of all this guy, Jeff, the first time i met him, he said that this neighborhood is ultra safe. "I MEAN LOOK!! I KEEP MY GODDAMN SHOES OUT IN THE HALLWAY AND NOBODY'S TOUCHED THEM!! you think i'd leave my fucking shoes out like this if this place weren't safe?!? H'NGH!? GAAAAUGH'URGLE...URGLE..."
first of all, your shoes consist of flip flops and a sock. WHO WOULD WANT TO TOUCH YOUR SHOES YOU CRAZY DICK!!
well, i guess i've been getting used to walking by his apartment, it's been sort of fun. i'd sneak and run by it as fast as i could to get upstairs without him coming out to investigate. kind of like avoiding zombies. i haven't seen him much lately though because i think i shattered his manhood the night he pulled a knife on me. First of all, i was already pissed from having worked 14 hours at two jobs that day and to come home to neighbors...i wasn't about to have it. but i didn't do anything crazy, all i said after he explained why he comes to the door with a knife...i just stared at him and said, "well, i'm sorry to have scared you, Jeff." then kept walking past him. to which he replies with, "NAAWGH MAN..YOU DIDN'T SCARE ME! I WAS JUST...PSSH, YOU DIDN'T SCARE ME. ..ok. bye dave"

haha...stupid jeff.

then i have this ultra-BITCH!! living right under me. One night Desiree and i came home after work around 10:30 and brought tacobell home. we simply pulled our chairs out from under the table and sat back down. it made a squeek or two. 20 seconds later there's a pounding on my door. we don't answer because we thought it might be Jeff wanting to see if he could come in and talk. then came another pounding, then another. finally i answer the door and it's this lady in her robe. "CAN YOU GUYS PLEASE LEARN TO BE MORE COURTEOUS!? ALL I HEAR IS CHAIRS DRAGGING BACK AND FORTH!!"

WHAT!?! THAT WAS LIKE FOR A FUCKING SECOND YOU UGLY BALLSACK!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!?! SHUT UP AND GO BACK DOWNSTAIRS AND SUCK SOME DICK!!

then there's this old lady who hates all smokers and seems to scream at everybody by putting up signs all over the place, like the one on her door, "OXYGEN IN USE..." and some other shit i dont much care to reiterate. plus she's a cat woman.

i smell cigars, weed, hippy, rice, and shit always seeping out into the hallways and into my apartment from the other apartments..

i think the only neighbor i have that i like is a guy who always waves to me from his bathroom window at 8:00 every morning when i'm starting my car to go to work. the only problem is he just stands there WAVING!! OK!! I FUCKING SEE YOU!! DAMNIT!!

well, the good thing about this place is, my car insurance finally went down by $1200.

i'll post pictures of my place up when i get the chance.

OH! but before i leave, if you can pick up the next issue of Applied Arts Magazine, i was commissioned to do the call for entries poster that comes with it. so go and pick up an issue when it comes out next month.

REEEEEEEALLY old toys

2006-11-21T21:13:00.000-05:00

i thought i'd post this up since i posted that last toy. this is a custom Poser toy i did for my buddy Paul Kwon. He made a bunch of these suckers and had a bunch of us paint them 2 years ago back when we were all in school. OLD NEWS!! but if i haven't seen it, it's new to me. except i have seen it. YOU SEE IT NOW TOO!!

Asia Toy Sexpo

2006-11-16T23:45:00.000-05:00

Hey if any of you are going to be in Hong Kong at the end of this month, the Honey B show is taking a tour and stopping at the Hong Kong Expo center for their Asian Toys Expo. Here are pics of the Honey B custom i did for this:

Go here for more details: www.asiatoysexpo.com

and here: http://www.honey-b-town.com/show.php

GOOD HELLO!

2006-11-15T00:05:00.000-05:00

GOOD HELLOW EVERYBODY! sorry i haven't been keeping up with my daily bloggings, but i've been lazy and i don't care. I DONT CARE!! but i lie, i do care. hello! sad news to report, although i'm sure all of you already know this, but ARTDORKS.com is no longer. but not to worry, because the collective lives on. and we'll still be having shows all over the world and blah blah blah.
notice my cunning use of "blah blah's" to replace explanations...I AM SLY!!

anyways back to why i've been neglecting the diary machine...i've been busy with many things, most of which involve me doing absolutely NOTHING!!! here's a run down of what has been happening and what WILL be happening:
if most of you didn't already hear it from me, i've been working with the fine folks at Cranium to replace Gary Baseman's illustration style for the younger audience market...however after competing for the position with several other illustrators it came down to just me and this one other illustrator to see who will get the job. the only catch, the Craniacs decided that they don't want a new illustrator and wants Baseman to do it still....but not really Baseman, but someone who can emulate his style exactly. so i tried it, but couldn't resist and had to add my own little Chung in it. I DON'T MEAN SEMEN!! anyways i didn't get the job. but they still paid me a good chunk of change for my time. CHANGE IS GOOD!! so i am happy!

also i've been working on brand new T-shirt designs, and those will be printed and out on the market December 3rd. look for them on my website!! in addition to the new shirts, i've been working on new paintings for two upcoming shows at Gallery 1988's 3rd I AM 8-BIT show and also a Cult Movies show they're putting together for 2007. oh yeah and i got a piece in to the society of illustrators Los Angeles 45...thing. i don't know what you call it. also there's a show at the Feinkunst Kruger gallery in Hamburg/Germany that i'm in called, "Don't Wake Daddy"- it includes Van Arno, Anthony Ausgang, Gary Baseman, Mike Burnett, Brendan Danielsson, Chris Ryniak, Travis Louie, Robert Hardgrave, and a bunch more. That opens December 2nd.
also a show in Missouri that i need to send my work out to about a week ago. SORRY MOSTYN!! it's in the mail...soon. it'll get there in time!!

ummm...whatelse, oh yeah! i'm finally moving out of detroit!! but only to madison heights. i don't know how to feel about it, but it'll be good. and way cheaper, especially on car insurance.

today Desiree called me up saying a bird flew into her house and is attacking her. I tell her i'm on my way, hang up the phone and go back to sleep. but then i wake up five minutes later and head on out to her place...but not before getting a Macdonald's coffee. which by the way is REALLY GOOD! they've stepped it up a notch. i think. the only problem is they can't ever get the sugar and cream right!! everytime i ask for 1 cream and 1 sugar and they put 4 creams and 7 sugars in. C'MOOOOOOOOOAAAAAUGHN!!! KILL YOU!!! so i have to ask for it black with cream and sugar on the side now, so it's all good.

so i get over to desiree's house and catch the bird. it was very anti-climactic. pretty cool though, if you guys don't know Desiree's work, you should check it out she does some pretty cool stuff www.theartofdesiree.com but she does these bird paintings where the birds are cute but evil and sometimes covered in blood. anyways, she had one of her paintings up where the bird hung out for awhile and also where i caught it in a garbage bag. then it fell asleep in my hands. stupid bird.

so we gave it some bread and then it flew away.

and just no more than two hours ago while i was about to eat a DELICIOUS SANDWICH!!!

the fire alarm went off in my building, so we all had to run outside screaming and get naked. it was horrible...i was the only one who got naked.

but anyways, there was no serious fire, just someones really bad cooking. unlike my sandwich making skills. SKILLS WHICH ARE AWESOME TO THE EXTREEEEEEME!!

well, i'm back...

2006-10-18T00:10:00.000-04:00

ok everybodies i'm back from my trip. HELLO!! well, i've been back for almost a week now, but i've been so busy trying to catch up with work it's been killing me. KILLING ME!!

oh yeah, for those of you who didn't know where i was at, i've been in portland attending the "It's all wood show" and then LA for the "Everybody's Mad Here" show. you can check out the photos for them here:

http://www.juxtapoz.com/mambo/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=485&Itemid=62

http://www.juxtapoz.com/mambo/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=477&Itemid=62

I also have a ton of photos to post up of the trip and stories to tell. but that'll have to wait til later. I'm kind of busy now. i might be moving very soon...either out of downtown detroit into a neighboring town, or out of michigan depending on how i did on some interviews i had while out in California.
also preparing for shows and currently trying to work out some test illustrations for a game company, all on top of teaching, and running the office at the Highway Press while my boss is out on vacation, and getting the new The Chung t-shirts out on production (hopefully they'll be ready and for sale by the end of december...but that is looking very doubtful right now.) also possibly a very limited giclee print is soon to come. depending on the way things work out.

so yes i am very overwhelmed right now. NO TIME FOR LOVE DR. JONES!!

But i AM back and i just wanted to say thanks to Ryan Bubnis for letting us party it up with him at his fantabulous house. and for Robert Hardgrave for being totally awesome for driving down to portland in shit traffic just to have some soup with us at the Doug Fir. and for Jensen at Gallery 1988 for being a supercool guy

so until i post stories...i leave you with an image of my mentor:

a better picture

2006-09-24T15:11:00.000-04:00

here's a better picture of that chesire cat painting. and to answer alice's comment...YES! TWINKIES!! DELICIOUS CREAM FILLED TREATS FOR MYSTICAL CREATURES OF ALL AGES!! you can click on the image to make it bigger. man, the whole time while i was painting this thing, all i could hear were lasers being shot out of guns and a whole lot of screaming. GOOD GOD THE SCREAMING!!!

i also have night terrors.

new painting

2006-09-24T01:58:00.000-04:00

OKAY! i have completed my painting for the show at Gallery 1988 in LA based on Disney's Chesire Cat. it's supposed to be a release party for their new custom vinyl toys of the cat. the toy looks pretty cool, they even have a glow in the dark chesire cat. or i could just be making that up. i'm not really sure. what the hell is a chesire cat anyway??

Anyway, here's the painting i did about the chesire cat. the photo is crap because there's horrible lighting and my floor is sticky. WHY IS MY FLOOR STICKY!?!? ALWAYS COVERED IN GOO IT IS!!! GRAAAWAAUGH!!! stupid floor goo. title: "MY SUPER INVISIBLE POWERS ARE BROKEN!!!"
medium: acrylic on canvas
size: 36" x 24"

i'll post a better picture of this when i get one. ok, well this entry is going to be really short because i have a whole lotta goo to clean up. so i'm ending this right now.

oh hello. i didn't notice you there.

bye

MINI-OLIGO!!

2006-09-16T04:33:00.000-04:00

so i've determined when i've become addicted to energy drinks and caffeine in general. CONTINUE READING MY STORY!! i'm eating a bag of peanuts. hello.
When i was living in Taiwan at the age of 8 or 9 i would always stop in at the local Circle K convenient store on my way walking home from school. and there was this little green glass bottle that always caught my attention, "Mini-Oligo". it was such a pretty green bottle and so shiny compared to the rest of the bottles...yes. IT BLINDED ME WITH ITS EMERALD BEAUTY!!! i had to drink from its delicious looking lips OF DELICIOUSNESS!! NNNNRRRGH!!! I LICK IT!! YES! TASTY GLASS BOTTLE!!

IT WAS SO TASTY! MY MIND KABOOMED OUT OF CONTROL!!!! i drank one to two bottles a day for every day for the next 2 years. Oooooooh so much delicious DRINK!!! since i've discovered Mini-oligo...MIN-EEEEE OLI-GO-O-O-O-O!! that's how the comercial song went. lalala AND EVERY TIME I HEARD IT AN EXPLOSION OF JOY POOPED IN MY PANTS!! KA-SPLOOOOOOOSH!!! HAPPY POOP EVERYWHERE!! CLEANUP WAS A BLAST!! THESE WERE THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE!!! YEAAAAAAAUGH!!!

then you know what happened? BAD FORTUNE!!! my family moved from Taiwan back to the United States where NO SUCH TASTY DRINK EXISTED!!! FURIOUS I WAS!! such a drink only existed in the peoples republic of CHINA!!! stupid commercial distribution and manufacturing laws...I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THOSE THINGS MEAN!

for 13 long years i've been searching for my delicious beverage of childhood dreams. even when i returned back to Taiwan 3 years ago...nothing. HAD THIS DRINK BEEN A VICTIM OF GENOCIDE OR RAPE!? i don't know. i've been searching for my love for so long, it's no surprise i've been flirting and sleeping with other energy drinks to try and forget and replace a broken heart. MY BROKEN HEART!! SHATTERED!! LIKE FROZEN JELLO!! from Vitalon-P to Whoop-Ass...the only drink that has come close to being able to FILL MY VEINS WITH SUCH RADIOACTIVE POWERED GOO: REDBULL!!! and yes, it has delivered much pleasure to my mooshy skull pudding, and oh how i do love Redbull, but It will never be able to replace my Mini-Oligo. NEVER!!

but i do remember my first ever Redbull. it was just like yesterday. My brother had a stash in the basement refrigerator...except these ones were in the cool looking glass bottles, not the small tin cans you are all familiar with. but as soon as i cracked open that cap...the aroma of taurine filled my sinuses with such a beautiful sensations. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFOH!!! RRRRRRRRNGH!!! oh i wish i had some more redbull now. everything else i've had is stupid. STUPID!!! except for good ol' classic coffee. oh mighty delicious beverage. LIKE POWERFUL TUNA PUNCHING MACHINE!!! KA-POW POW!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!! TUNA DEAD!! EVERYWHERE!!!!!!

ok, well i need to get back to work. this is what i've been working on. it's a work in progress so don't laugh:

you won't be seeing too many more posts from me for a few days or weeks because i got this thing going on with this company i don't know if i'm allowed to talk about it because they keep making me sign these contracts. but i'll let you know after i get paid.

MY LIVING SPACE!!

2006-09-05T21:15:00.000-04:00

i thought i'd show all of you where i live and work. why? WHY!?!

NO QUESTIONS!!

here is where i paint. LOOK!!

it's very messy, but eh. EH!!! i'm currently working on this piece for the upcoming show at Gallery 1988 in October...october 7th to be exact. it's not done yet obviously, but YOU'RE not even done. SO SHUT UP! here's the sketch for it. wanna see it? yeah you do. it's about the chesire cat. see, you can see him enjoying his tea party with the rabbit and then MARTIANS LAND IN WONDERLAND AND BEGIN SHOOTING UP THE PLACE! "SHHH-BEEEEUW!! POW POW POW!! KEEEEERSHPOOOOSH!!"

"OH NO! OUR TEA IS DESTROYED AND SLAVERY HAS BEEN WRITTEN INTO OUR DESTINIES RABBIT! I AM A CAT!! DO YOU LIKE KOOLADE?? YOUR MOM SMELLS DELICIOUS!! WE ARE DIE!! WAAAAAAAAGH!!"

that's what the painting is about.

and here are my tools for the painting. i am organized, yes? thanks.

now here's where i do all my digital work, blogging, emailing, game playing, and time wasting. TIME WASTING!!! hello. i have two computers, my old one just became way too old and destroyed itself, so i replaced it with an alienware and i got my dual monitors hooked up and use the old one as backup.

Now, i'm not strictly a PC guy or strictly a MAC guy. in fact, people who waste the effort explaining how one is better than the other are tooljobs. so i'm just going to say this, they're both good for what they are. and they can each do what the other can equally well, depending on what you want to do, you just need to know how to buy whatever fits your lifestyle. i use both. macs at work and pc at home, i have encountered no problems or favor one over the other. SO SHUT UP!!

on the wall there i've hammered all the jobs i need to get done...currently i only have 5. oh and if you see on the far left bottom corner you can see my Dance Dance Pad. if you guys didn't already know, i used to be Dance Dance Champion of the world until i broke my...something, i don't remember what. whatever, it's all in my autobiography. go read it yourself.

here's my TV and i think they just found out i've been stealing cable a few minutes ago because while i was watching animal planet's most EXTREME!!...

SCRAMBLED!!!

man, and speaking of animal planet, i'm super bummed about Steve Irwin. that just sucks man. that guy was one of my heros.
damnit.
but anyways...so now finally, here's where i do all my packing and shipping to send paintings and merchandise out. except my pet puffer fish Rocco took over the space. so it's more of an aquarium station rather than a packing station. oh well. you can see all of his "baby" supplies under his tank.

on the wall, are paintings by Chris Reno and Nate Marcy. the one on the right is Chris Reno, and the other is Nate Marcy. two of my most favorite paintings that i own. too bad my apartment doesn't do them justice. one day when i move into a better place...

well! that's my place, want to see more you say? NO MORE!!

THEY SEND ME FIFTY DOLLAR BILL!?

2006-09-02T22:08:00.000-04:00

HOh MAN! so i got this email from a Mr. Fred Obi & Management...
AND MANAGEMENT!! and you guys might be looking at a future millionaire. no! A MULTI VITAMINS!!

READ THE EMAIL!!!!

From: Mr. Fred Obi & Management
Date: Friday, September 1st, 2006 10:38 AM
to: ME!!
Subject: Urgent Response Please!

ARTS & CRAFT COMPANY PLC.
DL0311 VAUXHALL CROSS E7 8JG-LONDON
UNITED KINGDOM.
E-MAIL: fredobi_craftcompany@gawab.com

Attn: Sir/Ma.

With due respect to you, I am sorry for any inconveniences or embarrassement this my letter of assistance may cause you. I am Mr.Fred Obi, the managing director of the above mentioned company. Base on the assurance given on your behalf, my company has appoint you as our debt collector from our overseas creditors. The creditors always send us CHEQUES for our payment, but foreign cheque take LONGER time to clear and sometimes some of them got lost on transit, which impact a great lost to this Company. It is on this effect, we the management outstand a dept collector overseas. You haven been selected on these contract, the management has agreed that any debt YOU collected on our behalf, 5% is allowed for you as your share while the remaining will be remitted to us through wire transfer on our coparate account.

To commence on this transaction, you are to send the following in your reply:
1. Name you want the cheque to be raised.
2. Direct telephone and fax numbers
3. Mailing address
4. Your company name if any.
5. Sex/ Age and Occupation.

NOTE: Your duty is ONLY to collect CHEQUES on our behalf from our creditors overseas and have 5% of the total fund paid to you. If you are interested, please reply through my secure email address: fredobi_craftcompany@gawab.com

Awaiting your positive reply.

Yours sincerely,
Mr. Fred Obi.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT!! I GOT CHOSEN!! I AM SO GOING TO BUY MYSELF A DOG!!

From: The Chung
Date: Saturday, September 2, 2006 7:49 PM
To: fredobi_craftcompany@gawab.com
Subject: Re: Urgent Response Please!

HI OBIWAN KENOBI!!

OH MAN!! what an honor! i've been waiting so long to get an email from someone i can actually REPLY to! instead of all those JUNK EMAILS that say DO NOT REPLY on them! sheesh!! who am i supposed to write to if i can't reply to them!? UNGH!?! i hate darth vadar don't you?

SO WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THIS THING!?!do you guys get medical? the reason why i ask is because i think one of my friends' sister gave me something and i can't pay to get it checked out. i mean it's not really an STD because it wasn't real sex, it was only in the butt...so it's cool. DUDE IT WAS SO COOL!! anyway, if you do, can you send me some information? are you hiring? oh man, did you feel a disturbance in the force yesterday? i did. yeah, i've been practicing to become a jedi. JUST LIKE YOU!

so are you forreal from Tatooine?? i had a friend from Tatooine who used to brag about it all the time. is it really like what he says? i hear they have waterfalls that flow with skittles. do you like skittles? i used to eat them when i was a kid but then i got one stuck in my sinuses because i would always get excited to eat them and accidentally inhale them through my nose. my mom says i shouldn't eat so much candy and drink as much soda because of the caffeine, but i like it. it makes my wee-wee tingle. you know what i mean? HAHAHAHAHAHHEHEHEHE GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE!! oh yeah, LOL forreal! have you ever tried to use emoticons outside of the internet? like when you're talking to your friends and you're like..."yeah you're a jerk, J/K! COLON HYPHEN RIGHT PARENTHESIS!! L-O-L!! B-R-B I HAVE TO PEE"

do you have any pets or children? i had this dog once but he got hit by another dog on the road. i threw it at him. it was sad. i cried for 40 days straight. but that was how i discovered Dr. Pepper. he wasn't a real doctor though like his title suggested. but he did win a noble prize fighting rooster. i think they have a pizza named the "noble prize fighting rooster". you ever have it? i like pizza. do you? OMG!! SPEAKING OF PIZZA!! THIS ONE TIME I HAD A NOBLE PRIZE FIGHTING ROOSTER PIZZA AND I FORGOT TO TAKE MY LACTOSE INTOLERANT PILLS AND WITHIN MINUTES POOP DETONATED INSIDE MY LATEX PANTS AND DESTROYED THE ENTIRE PIZZERIA!! i guess you could call it PIZZERIA DIARRHEA!! HAHAHAHA GIGGLE GIGGLE HEE HEE LAUGHING!! i love my latex pants. do you love yours?

so did i get the job? can you fly me out and pay for my living expenses if i come work for you guys and your company? i hope i get the job. but if not that's ok, i still like you. WE CAN BE PEN PALS!! OH! LETS DO!! hope to hear from you soon...penpal!! :) :) :)

your PEN15PAL (did you get it? i used numbers to represent letters in the alphabet! HAHAHA i'm so brilliant! you can learn something from me you know!? oh yeah and if you didn't get it the "15" was used as "IS" so when i write "Pen" plus "15" it looks like i just wrote "PENIS"! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG LOL DR PEPPER!!!

write back to me soon!! give Yoda a jello cup for me! no it's cool, he'll understand what it means.

-DAVID ULTRAMAN!!

p.s. i don't have a phone or a fax number because i still live with my mom, but my sex is a guy and i live with my mom. but don't mail anything to our house because my mom doesn't allow me to read letters from people, so you can send all your checks to my treehouse's address:

300 Super Cool Drive
Awesomeland, HI 07734

just call me professor THE CHUNG!!

2006-09-01T17:53:00.000-04:00

hahaha, so check this out, this is gonna make you guys pee your pants...
guess who's teaching kids art now? ENGH!? ME!! oh man, those poor kids. it's at this private art akadamie for kids who want to get into art school.
i taught my very first class yesterday, didn't expect to, i thought i was just going in to discuss my schedule and explain the syllabus i was setting up, but then my boss told me to take over, "these are your kids." I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I HAD KIDS!? i'm such a whore. anyways, yeah, so i'm teaching now. at here: www.TroyArtAkademie.com and those kids are really talented. they're great, very willing to allow me to punch them in the back of the head and scream how AWESOME THEY ARE but to do better or else i'll eat their parents. naw i'm just kidding. i passed a note, we're not allowed to scream in class.
ok but enough about my teaching job, if i say anymore i'll probably get fired. FIRED!! KABOOOOOOSH!!! FLAMES EVERYWHERE!!

ok, i'm done blogging right now...DONE! i'll be back later.

HER HAND IS STUPID!!

2006-08-30T03:54:00.000-04:00

man, so i went to 7eleven today to buy a 12 pack of redbull...oh yeah i started drinking redbull again..wooh! and the stupid clerk monster says, "didn't you just buy a pack of those 2 days ago?"
damnit, i don't want to make small talk with you...i really need to go home and peeee!!! so i just tried to humor her and told her to "please hurry along this transaction".
"looks like you have an addiction. doctor told me i can't drink caffeine anymore because it gives me the shakes" she decided THAT I CARED!!
so i had to tell her yeah my doctor told me to stop with the caffeine too. so then she asks me to see how badly i shake trying to compare her stupid pudgy quivering hand next to mine...HER HAND IS SO STUPID!!! GRRRRRNGH!!!

so i had to tell her "i never got the shakes, but instead developed ulcers in my intestines GIVING ME HORRIBLE PAINS AND CAUSING ME TO POOP BLOOD FOR A MONTH!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH 24 HOUR CONVENIENT MONKEY MONSTER FOR TRYING TO MAKE SMALL TALK WITH STRANGERS WHO WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO JUST STAND HERE AND TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE! YOU THINK I'M GOING TO TELL YOU, A STRANGER, MY THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND EMOTIONS RIGHT HERE AND NOW!? EH!?"

THIS IS WHY I STARTED A BLOG!! some people. honestly.

anyways, i've been on this bad scary movie kick this whole year and i finally got to rent Gingerdead Man with Gary Busey. I'VE BEEN WAITING TO RENT IT FOR 8 STUPID MONTHS!!! sooo STUPID!! hate blockbuster.

but anyways, i'm going to spoil the movie for everybody who hasn't seen it yet right now in a quick summary:

BLAM!! gary busey shoots everybody in a bakery that he's robbing except for the daughter of the baker who owns the place. in the next scene the girl reads in the newspaper that Gary was executed and his ashes were sent to his mom. then his mom delivers a box of recipes to make gingerbread cookies that contain Gary's ashes to the baker. and the secret ingredients needed to make Gary come back to life are human blood and electricity. they're not included and his mom needed to catch a sale going down at Target. that place is so hip!
so then the girl and this guy starts making the cookies. after pouring the ingredients into a big pot the guy accidentally cuts his hand while he's all the way across the room no where near the mixture, and blood is running everywhere. the good employee that he is to make sure that no blood is getting all over the floor holds his hand over the pot with the ingredients in it making sure every last drop of blood is contained within that pot. spreading HIV via cookies is what REAL men do.

"OH NO YOU ARE CUT! DO YOU NEED THE HOSPITAL OR STITCHES!? I AM ASKING YOU QUESTIONS!!!" the girl says something along those lines.
"NO I AM TOO MUCH OF A MAN WHO BAKES COOKIES ALL DAY LONG TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. I WANT TO BE SPIDERMAN WHEN I GROW UP."
"OK! LETS KEEP MAKING THESE COOKIES!! WHAT BLOOD?! I DON'T SEE ANY BLOOD IN THE FLOUR! YOU'RE STUPID, I LIKE YOUR NIPPLES!"

and so they mix the gingerbread goo together and it turns all pink because of the blood that's in it, but nobody cares, they're running a very successful bakery business SHUT UP!! then the girl baker sends the guy home and starts cutting out this gingerbread man shape out of the dough.
it looks just like Gary Busey. then she puts the gingerbread cookie into the oven and it begins to bake and it turns into what looks NOTHING LIKE GARY BUSEY.

then while the cookie is baking, this half naked girl comes over, "HI LET'S HAVE A FIGHT! I WANT TO RUB CREME ALL OVER MY BUTT HEE HEE HEE GIGGLE GIGGLE!! I AM A GIRL! DO YOU LIKE PIZZA?"

so they fight and accidentally hit the electric box which causes electricity to run into the oven and bring Gary Busey back to life as the Gingerdead man....OH! I JUST GOT IT!! GINGERDEAD MAN!! I JUST GOT IT!! a play on words. how clever!! i'm so smart sometimes, yes i really think so. my mom is proud.

then the gingerdead man runs out of the oven and is being a good actor and i don't remember much else about the movie except for the end when spiderman jumps down from the window and bites Gary Busey's head off.

anyways, if i had to rate that movie on a point scale from 1-10, 10 being the highest and 1 the lowest, i'd give Gingerdead Man a "THUMBS UP AWESOME! LET'S WATCH IT AGAIN!!!"

a new painting

2006-08-26T00:20:00.000-04:00

GOOD HELLO! i have a new painting for showing and EXPLAINING! the photo is no good, but for example using...it is DELICIOUS! TASTE THE RAINBOW WITH CHEWY BUBBLEGUM TEXTURE! PICTURE LOOKING WILL CONTINUE IN MOMENTS!!
but first i must talk about my day. BECAUSE YOU ALL MUST KNOW WHAT INTERESTING ADVENTURES I ENDURE EACH AND EVERY DAY!!

I'll begin with when i woke up..at 6:15AM!! to make pee-pee
and then 6:18AM!! i went back to bed

then for awhile, nothing happened.

UNTIL 8:15AM!! i got up again to make pee-pee one more time. BUT THEN I GOT READY FOR WORK!!

then i went to work and stood around the watercooler all day drinking water.

6:45PM!! i got out of work. 7:05pm, i got home faced with a horrible emergency...TO MAKE PEE-PEE!!!

then i sat around for 5 hours drinking coffee and beer....

so now anyways...
LOOK AT MY PAINTING!
this is the painting for the upcoming show, "IT'S ALL WOOD" sponsored by Kid Robot and curated by Portland's most worshipped evil overlord, Ryan Bubnis. MEATBALLS ARE EATEN IN HONOR OF HIS NAME!! so tastee

the title of this piece is : "The Corndogs of Life"
and the medium is : acrylic on wood
and the size is: 20" x 14.5"
and also it's cursed to grant wishes.
but only evil wishes.
and it was splashed with monkeys blood.
and also the blood was blessed by superman.

you may click on the image for enlarging pleasure. JUST LIKE PORNOGRAPHY!!

Well! it looks like it's that time of the day again, so i must now say goodbye. who knows when i will see you again, and remember kids, always wear a helmet when sitting on the toilet for an extended period of time.

-HELLO

my very first blogging post!

2006-08-24T20:20:00.000-04:00

HI! i'm BLOGGING!! MY FIRST!! WHAT A BRILLIANT TOOL TO USE FOR EVERYDAY THOUGHT VOMITING!! hello. THANKSGIVING WILL DESTROY US ALL!! as you read on you will notice how much FAT is stored in my braaaaain meeeeeeats!! TASTE THE MEATS!!

GOOD NEWS! i ate bacon today. I LOVE BACON!! IT MAKES MY SKIN FEEL GREASY AND DELICIOUS!! but this wasn't any ordinary bacon. no. NO! this bacon came from the Original Pancake House!! IT BROUGHT MIGHTINESS INTO MY BONES THROUGH THE PORTAL OF STRIPPED BREAKFAST MEATS!!

"KA-SPOOOOOOOSH!!" is the sound it made once i took that first bite of TOTALLY AWESOME!! today was also the day that Desiree ate bacon...SHE CONSUMED HER BREAKFAST WITH TEETH OF FURY!! and for a vegetarian, I WAS AROUSSED WITH SUCH DELICIOUS TABOO!! i was satisfied...so then i paid the bill AND REMOVED MYSELF FROM THAT HORRIBLE STRUCTURE FILLED WITH ECHOS OF PEOPLE EATING BACON!! DAMN THEM AND THEIR FILTHY EATING!!

SO! i've finally completed my painting for the show that Ryan Bubnis is curating out in Portland, Oregon October 6th, "It's all Wood" sponsored by Kid Robot at the Renowned Gallery this show is going to TURN EVERYBODY'S ASS INTO JELLY!!! i guess i could show you a picture of the painting, but i don't have a photo for you yet. WAITING MUST BE HAD BY ALL!!

now i will do some drawings for my next two paintings which you may check out at Gallery 1988's show based on the Chesire Cat, or as desirage likes to call it, the "cheesehire cat" hahahahahahahahahah IT IS FUNNY!! AGREE WITH MY OPINIONS OR JOIN ME IN A DISCUSSION ABOUT THE MATTER TOMORROW OVER TEA AND SANDWICHES!! this show is sponsored by Disney and opens October 7th. Hello.

ok, i'm done with this stupid machine. i'll keep all of you posted...and by "all of you", i mean "mom".

-THE CHUNG!!!